Losing my man after a threesome

November 19, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem. I am 22 years old and I have a boyfriend. The first time I had sex with him, he got me pregnant and I had to have an abortion because I wasn't ready for a child. He invited me to come and live with him. He is 34 years old.

After I got over this abortion thing, I told him I wanted to go to church because I didn't like living with a man and I am not married. I started to go to church, but he did not want me to go to night meetings.

One day I got a call from a girl who told me that she was his babymother. She asked me who I was and I told her I am his girlfriend. I told my boyfriend I couldn't stay with him because I am not in any competition. He said one woman can't please him. He kept asking me to get one of my girlfriends so that we could have a threesome. I told him I never had a threesome before. He never stopped begging me for a threesome until I agreed. I didn't choose the girl; he did.

It looked like the girl was accustomed to that sort of thing. We were together, all three of us, for three hours. I left the room, put on my clothes and went to spend the rest of the night with a friend. When I came back the following morning, the girl was still there with him. Now, he is asking me to leave because the girl is more serious about life than I am. She went away, but she calls him anytime. I told her that I thought that it was a one-time thing. She told me that it started that way but she loves him and we can go on together - all three of us - and I should give her a chance because she needs the help.

This girl has her boyfriend. Sometimes I wonder if I should tell her boyfriend to tell her to leave my man and me alone. But I am afraid that my boyfriend would hurt me. I don't want us to break up, because I love him so much. He is a good man, but I would like this girl to leave him alone. Every time I talk to him, he tells me I should get over it.

V.R.

Dear V.R.,

The very first time your boyfriend suggested that you should engage in a threesome you should not only object, but you should have told him that you would prefer to end the relationship with him. He insisted and convinced you that you would enjoy the occasion. You didn't go out and seek a girl, he did. And I am sure that he would have had to pay her.

I am really sorry to hear that this man was willing to embarrass you in that way. All three persons were together for three hours. That seemed to be a very long time carrying on. I can't call that making love. It seems to me that you could have told this man to tell the girl to leave, but you left her with him and went to stay with a friend instead. When you returned the following morning the girl was still there.

 

HORRIBLE SITUATION

 

The situation between your boyfriend and yourself now is horrible because the young woman wants to hang on with him and to be a part of his life. Your boyfriend doesn't see anything wrong with what he is doing, but you are very unhappy. Evidently, the girl pleased him well.

I suggest that you make plans to leave permanently. This man does not love you. He is not serious about the relationship that the both of you have had. And it is only a matter of time before he gets fed up with the other girl and wants a new one. This man is not willing to settle down with one woman. So although you say you love him, you should move on.

Serving the Lord is far better than stooping to this man. He is grossly immoral. You are only 22 years old and you have many years ahead of you. You can try your very best to get a job, go back to school and educate yourself.

I want you to know that you will not be losing anything if you were to leave this man, because if you stay with him, he will always have other women with you, so move on.

Pastor

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