Mom shielding my dirty stepdad

February 04, 2019
Abused child
Abused child

Dear Pastor,

Good day. When I was 17 years old, my mother got involved with a guy who was interesting in my older sister for some time before. My sister told my mom about it, but she let him in her life anyway. My sister was 20 years old. My sister never talked to my mom for a while because of it. I never trusted him, so when my mother would go to the Coronation Market on Friday nights, my younger sister and I would go on the road to avoid him at the house.

He started to complain to my mom that we were always on the road at nights when she is gone, so my mom said she would beat us if we did. My older sister used to stay in with my baby brother when my mom was gone. One Friday night when my older sister was gone out and my younger sister and I were there, he heard her saying that she was going on the road to a friend. He then said he was not going on the road, which he normally did. I was shocked, so I tried to convince her to stay home, but she didn't.

About 12 in the night, I was asleep with my baby brother and I felt something touching my vagina and I jumped up and saw him. I pushed his hand away and told him to leave the room. He went away, but I was so scared, it took me a while to go back to sleep. I told my sister in the morning, but it never came to my mind to tell my mother because we did not have that close a relationship where I could talk to my mother about personal things.

I went to live with my uncle and his wife. They lived two houses away, but I would still go by my mother's house. I was in a pair of tights one day and my stepfather said,"Your vagina was very fat and you will let the man them crash."

I told him not to look at me. He offered me money, but I did not take it.

He came to my uncle's house and told me to open the door and let him in. I asked why and he said he wanted some sex. I told him to go away. There was a guy in my community who liked me. When I carried my little cousin to basic school in the mornings, I would stop and talk to him.


My stepfather started to tell my mother again that I was always on the road talking to this guy. My mother cursed me and tell me bad things such as, I love man, and I don't have any ambition.

I started to distance myself from them. My mother then let him influenced her to carry and my younger sister and I to the Family Court. She told that them she needed counselling for us because we were always on the road talking to guys.

The counsellors then asked us how we got along with my stepfather and I told her what had happened. They sent my mother to report it at CISOCA. We went and gave my statement and they told her not to have him at the house anymore. They were calling my mother repeatedly to come back and carry me for further statements, but she did not answer them. She finally answered, and they told her what would happen if she didn't come back, so she decided to go. The day when she was going, I could not go and she told me that she would tell them to reschedule.

However, I don't think that's what she told them because she never said anything to me about what they said and they never called her back. I think she told them I was lying or something like that to protect her boyfriend, because he was still living at the house. I did not have a phone for them to contact me, and they say they would come and investigate, I never saw them.

Many times I feel like calling them to ask why I didn't hear from them, but I don't want my mother to get in trouble, and people would say I am wicked. I appreciate your comments.


Dear Anonymous,

You are a very wise girl. Your mother is evidently trying to protect the man with whom she is living. However, I suggest that you call the folks at CISOCA and ask them to please follow up the matter. They would take what you have said seriously. While you protect yourself, try your very best to protect your sister. Your mother is very careless.

You have written to me a very good letter. I hope that you will do well in school. You need not worry about what people would say about the action you have taken. People will talk because they don't know what you are going through with this man.


"I was in a pair of tights one day and my step father said,'Your vagina was very fat and you will let the man them crash'."

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