Soon-to-be babyfather abandoning me already

February 11, 2019

Dear Pastor,

I have always read about you in the newspapers and think it's best for me to write to you. I'm having a problem with my babyfather.

I'm 18 and he's 27 years old. After I got pregnant, he was always around no matter what it was.

But since I became 18 in December, he has been moving very strange.

He doesn't even relate to me the same way anymore. I'm six months pregnant and, the only thing he does is carry money to me whenever he has it.

We were always having sex, but I saw the changes on my birthday. Even if I call him and say that I want to have some sex, he would find some type of excuse for not coming.

He doesn't even rub my belly or anything like that anymore. I'm tired of telling him money isn't all; I need his comfort.

But no matter how hard I try with him, he always deals with me the same way. He never follows me to the clinic or to the hospital, and it's not like he's working at the moment.

When I asked why he doesn't go with me to these places, he said he doesn't like to travel.

One day when I called him he was out. When I saw him and asked him where he was, he said far away. I asked him more questions and he was like, "don't question me". Then again, he said he doesn't like to travel, but he's far away and couldn't follow me to the hospital.

Pastor, I'm confused and stressed out. I am at my father's house, and all they do is curse me and cause me to feel really down all the time.

He knows what I'm going through here, but he doesn't even care. He doesn't treat me any different from them. He wasn't like that.

I need your advice as soon as possible. Thank you.


Dear S.R.,

This young man doesn't understand that you feel the need for him more than ever, now that you are pregnant.

Although you are living with relatives, they don't care about you. They are not empathising with you. You are alone.

Someone needs to talk to your boyfriend and explain to him that you feel abandoned. Perhaps he feels that he is trying his best, but you are causing him stress, too.

I suggest that whenever you go back to clinic, you should ask one of the nurses to talk to him on your behalf. I am sure the nurse will gladly do so.

If he loves you, he would try to be with you. Right now, he is behaving as if he wants to get away from you sometimes because you are demanding too much from him.

Try not to put any pressure on him, but let him know that he ought to come and see you more often.


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