Giving my husband ‘bun’ with my exercise partner

February 12, 2019

Dear Pastor,

I am in my late 40s and I am seeking your advice. I am a member of a church, but the pastor is young so I wouldn't talk to him about the sort of problem I am having.

I am married and my husband and I have three children - one boy and two girls. None of them is living at home. They were all born abroad.

As I write, my husband is away on business, and that is part of the reason why I am in trouble. My husband and I joined with a friend and we go walking every morning except Saturdays and Sundays. Sometimes we go on Saturdays if we feel up to it.

For a long time, I found myself loving this other man. It took me a long time to tell him, but when I did, he told me that he liked me too.

I always wanted us to have the opportunity to meet alone because after we go walking, we just separate and go to our homes.

When my husband left for business, this man and I continued walking. His wife does not walk with us. During our walk, he said to me that we had time to do something.

When I got to my house, he followed me in. We did not shower or anything like that. I was a bit nervous, but it did not take us long to take off our clothes and we had a 'go at it' for about 15 minutes.

When we were finished, we told each other thanks and he went his way. Two days after, it happened again. Now, I find myself wanting more.

I told him we should stop walking together, but he said that they would not solve the problem and my husband would want to know why suddenly I had stopped walking with him.

This man has a nice wife. But he told me I am just as good in every way. Please give me your advice.


Dear L.G.,

There is something that is called lust, and evidently, this man and you have been lusting for each other for a long time.

Your husband thought that all three of you were just good friends who were exercising and trying to keep fit by walking each morning.

You knew that as far as you were concerned, you were admiring this man. Perhaps he has a good physique and you look very attractive in your gym suit.

Both of you were just hoping that the opportunity would come when it would be convenient to have sex.

When you knew that the temptation was very strong, what you should have done was to invite someone else to join both of you to walk.

I don't say that to condemn you in anyway, but if someone had joined both of you, you would not have yielded to the temptation to have sex with this man.

You would have done what you have always done and that is go into your house and let the man go to his house.


Now, you are thinking about this man every day. You want more of him and he wants more of you. If both of you don't stop fooling around, your husband will find out.

A woman can only do what you are doing for a while. But, generally, she gets caught. It is said that women are smarter when it comes to cheating, but if this man is giving you pleasure more than your husband, you are not going to be eager to have sex with your husband.

And then your husband will wonder why you have lost interest in having sex with him. He is going to confront you and tell you that you have a man with him.

Men are not as foolish as some women think. Women often give themselves away even if men don't know with whom they are cheating.

So madam, cut the nonsense out and don't allow this man to come into your house when you go jogging.

To make sure that it doesn't happen again, invite others to go with you so you and this man won't yield to the temptation to stop and have sex.

I think I have said enough.


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