Secretly sleeping with my boss

February 15, 2019

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column. Keep up the good work that you are doing. I have a woman friend. She is 12 years older than I am. I work with her at her home and take her around. I came here to work as her gardener and driver soon after her husband died. Her sister was staying with her. Her sister and I became good friends, and one day, my boss told me that it seems to her that her sister likes me. I asked her why she said so, and she said that she sees the way both of us 'move'. I told her I did not know that. She said that whatever her sister has, she has too, and that she can do better for me than her sister.

Before I realised it, her sister told me that she was going back to the country because the boss said that she didn't need her there anymore. She was told that she should go home and take care of the family house and that she would call her when she needs her.

This woman is very jealous. It wasn't so when I came here because I told her that I was not living with anybody, but I have a female visitor.

Pastor, I don't have anything, but after her sister left, she told me that I was free to come in the house. She would go to the bathroom and call me in to scrub her back. The first time we had sex was in the bathroom, and every week, I have to prepare to have sex with her. She told me that she is not telling me to leave my woman, but she wants me to have sex with her because sometimes she feels for it but she doesn't want any man to come to her house.

I never thought that this type of woman would want me to have sex with her. I am thinking of leaving this work because my girlfriend and I have been going on for a long time, and she wants to get baptised. She wants me to get baptised with her. I am asking you for your advice.


Dear G.S.,

I suggest that you leave this job and stay with the woman you have had for a long time. This woman might have money and can give you just about anything you may need, but she is not going to want anybody to know that you are her man because you are poor and you are her driver and gardner. So, please, tell her that you appreciate all that she has done for you but you will have to move on.

Lots of women, especially those whose husbands have died, have had sex with men who work in their homes, but they don't want anybody to know. They keep it undercover. Some tell their very close friends who are in similar situations. And just as how older men are jealous of younger girls who are having a relationships with them, these women are very jealous of men who are their workers.

I repeat, however, end this relationship, and even if it means that you have to move on, do so. You wouldn't starve.


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