Can’t do without my married boyfriend

February 20, 2019

Dear Pastor,

I was in love with a married man and his wife found out about us. He said he wasn't going to leave me so he helped me to open a bar.

I have a son who is 17 and this man would help to support him. He worked with him for two summers straight.

But one day the man and I were seen on the road by his wife and she trailed me to my workplace and we had a confrontation.

I didn't trouble this woman. I have been keeping out of her way so I don't know why she is trying to embarrass me.

My son told me to leave this man because if I don't, this woman and I would always get into confrontations.

It is not easy to leave him because he has given me everything I have.

I remember the days when I worked as a prostitute and it was this man who took me off the street.

One night it started to rain and I stopped this man and I told him that things were hard. He asked me if I had protection and I told him yes, and I showed him, and he pulled up during the rain and put his car seat down. We had sex.

He asked me how come I was a prostitute, yet I felt as if I was still a virgin and my breasts were not saggy.

I told him that I only had one child and I knew how to take care of myself.

He gave me $7,000; that was the most I made from one guy for the night.

By the time we were about to separate the rain stopped. My regular taxi took me home. Three nights after, I saw him again and he picked me up.

I asked him if he did not want anything and he said no because his wife would find out because he is on his way home.

He gave me $2,000 and from then we became friends and he became my customer.

A few weeks before I met him, I had lost everything and was sleeping on the floor with my son because I had to run from the man I was living with.

This man helped me to build a board house on leased land, and that is where I am and running my bar.

My son says he wants to be an engineer and he is hoping to go to UTech.

I cannot make this man's wife cause me not to make a life.

Without him I don't know what I would do. Sometimes the bar doesn't do well and I have to lean on this man.

I can't make this woman take away my little bread.


Dear E.G,

The married man and yourself should come to a decision as it relates to your relationship.

You should tell him how you feel about his wife confronting you. The real issue is that you don't want to leave this man because he has been very good to you.

Girls who are in the business of selling sex have told me that they have had very difficult times on the street with certain men.

So I could understand why you think so highly of this man who took you from off the street and from off the floor and opened a bar for you.

You are fighting to keep him, but remember, he is married and his wife has all right to fight for him too, because he is legally hers, and she is not willing to give him up. But I also want you to see that he is not prepared to give up his wife either. He doesn't mind having two women in his life. But his wife is not willing to share him with you.

I am going to suggest that you tell this man that the time has come for both of you to go your separate ways. I doubt that he would take away anything that he has given you.

He might even continue to help your son. But it is time for you to see that there is no future for you in this relationship, and although you may miss him dearly, you will not die.

I hope that you would be able to find another man and that you would never hit the street again because selling sex is not a good thing to do.


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