My woman doesn’t visit me in prison

March 04, 2019

Dear Pastor,

I have been dating a nice woman for two years and a few months now. My problem is, she has changed on me over the time I have been locked up.

In 2016, I came to prison and within a month of being locked up, she took in two children which are supposed to be her godchildren.

The mother of the godchildren is sister to her daughter from a previous marriage. So, her taking in the two children was of a kind spirit and a good heart.

But, bad-minded people are using her and taking her kindness for weakness.

She suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder and memory loss from being in active duty for such a divided country (the US).

So, in turn, she is what you would call a very emotional person who's prone to stress easily. With all these things stacked on top of each other, she has been in two separate horrible marriages.

They were basically relationships of physical, mental and emotional abuse.

Now, with all of this, she found God in the midst of it all in 2017. Throughout my prison term, which is soon to finish in a few months, I have never asked her for any money, neither has she visited me because of the situation of her not being 100 percent stable, and the added weight of the two other children.


All I ask her to do is simply to write to me and send me pictures, which are quite simple and easy.

At first she started off alright, but then she drifted away, because, last year, she didn't even send me any mail or pictures.

To make matters worse, I have been in the Special Housing Unit for 108 days now because bad-minded people planted drugs in my locker.

During this time, I haven't spoken to her by phone. I have written four letters to her. I haven't received any response for two of them that I wrote on December 9 and 13.

Furthering the matter, my birthday was December 30 and I still haven't heard from her.

Pastor, this is a woman who says she loves me, but her behaviour and actions show me something different. A woman who knows I love her dearly along with her daughter, plus these two additional children.

This is the same woman I plan on getting married to. So, tell me pastor, what am I supposed to do? She acts as if I have to run after her, or I can't find a next girlfriend.

Your advice is greatly needed.


Dear N.S.,

I hope that when you are out of prison you would not go back to this woman. This is not a good relationship.

So I will say to you, look elsewhere for a woman; you are wasting your time with her.


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