Don’t trust my son’s fiancée

March 08, 2019

Dear Pastor,

I would like your fatherly advice on some issues. I have a 22-year-old son and he works with a government agency. He is involved with a 28-year-old woman.

The woman lives in St Andrew. It has been more than a year now since they have been together and they are now engaged.

He borrowed J$1 million because he wanted them to get married. He said that if they were married, the agency would pay him more money as a married man.

His father and I are against the idea of him borrowing money and getting married. He gave his father and I $700,000 to do an addition to the house.

At the same time, he was trying to buy a car. He found a car, but the owner was trying to scam him. He put on a dance, but it was not successful.

The money for the liquor was given to his woman, but she did not give it to him. She did not tell him anything about the money. She went away without informing him.

I gave him all the liquor that was not sold. Another set of money that he had went missing. Before she went abroad, she told him not to come back to her place until she returned.

Then he missed his phone and his billfold, which contained his driver's licence, TRN, bank card and the company's ID. He reported the matter to the police.

When she returned from abroad, she said that she found the billfold under a pillow on the bed. I told him to leave the woman. He is the sole breadwinner for us.

We used to do buying and selling, but our vehicle broke down, so we quit selling. He is always covering up for his woman. He is still going to her place.

He stopped speaking to us. I told him that he is a coward and that his woman is taking him for a puppet because he is young.

He told me that it is his father who is taking me as a puppet and it is his father who should be taking care of me. He said that his money is for his woman. We argued and he hung up the phone on me.


Dear P.G.,

Evidently, you believe that your son's girlfriend is not good enough for him. You don't like her. You believe she is a 'ginnal' and that he can get a better woman.

You see her as a dishonest woman. I have deleted much of what you have written. You should realise that whether or not you like your son's girlfriend, she is his choice and you should leave him alone.

On the other hand, some of the things he said to you show that he doesn't respect you. Although I believe that you should not meddle in his love life, he ought to have respect for you.

Whether he agrees with you or not, you are his mother. Don't allow this young man to curse you anymore. Leave him alone; and if he is going the wrong way, he will fall on his own sword.

You have no proof that his girlfriend or her relatives stole his money, so stop accusing them. I do agree that he is young and thinks that he is in love.

The woman is evidently much smarter than him. But, as he grows older, time would prove whether he has made a mistake.


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