My man left me after I bought a phone

March 11, 2019

Dear Pastor,

Keep up the good work. I have written to you before, and you helped me so much. I am writing to you about my current situation. I met this guy online. He's in his 50s. He's very nice, and kind to me. He has helped me financially. I met him around November of last year, and we are still keeping it strong until now. He promised to come to visit me, but when it is always near the time for him to come, we always fuss over small things and he cancels the trip.

He also promised to carry a phone for me, but because the trip got cancelled I can't get it. I got frustrated and tired of depending on him. I am a very good saver, so I saved $40,000 and purchased an iPhone. I didn't tell him about it. He found out, got upset and he ended the relationship. I wasn't in a relationship before meeting this guy, and I kept it that way. I haven't been fooling around with anyone because this guy made sure I had everything for my comfort. Sometimes when he asked if I needed money, I said no because I didn't want him to think that I was after his money.

I begged him to at least be my friend, but he was upset. Eventually, he came around to talk back to me. I love him so much, and I hope we will meet soon. But I am very concerned because he has a sickness called COPD. He has to have oxygen everywhere he goes. Do you think he can come to Jamaica, and it won't be a problem? I would love to meet him, but I am afraid because of this oxygen thing he has to have with him.


Dear A,

This man has helped you, and he means well. But I cannot encourage you to consider him as your future husband. He has been telling you that he would come to Jamaica, but I doubt very much that he would be able to travel to Jamaica comfortably because of his problem. I am not very sure whether you should even accept financial assistance from him. I know some people may say that if he says he loves you and is willing to help you, you should take the money. But how long should you do so without having him feel that you are a gold-digger?

I can see you accepting gifts occasionally, but to give this man the impression that you are his woman and you are relying on him for support, that should be a no-no.

This man raises your expectation about coming to Jamaican and then he cancels his trip, because he knows that it would be difficult for him to travel because of his condition. You may continue to be a good friend to this man, but do not consider him as your future husband.


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