My foreign sideman wants to marry me

March 18, 2019

Dear Pastor,

I always read your column, but this is my first time writing to you. I am in my 30s and I have been dating a guy my age for a couple of years now. He is a great guy.

He works hard and tries to provide for us. We do not have children, but he is always talking about getting children.

We have been trying, but no luck as yet. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get pregnant, because I have done things in my younger years that may hinder me from getting pregnant.

Pastor, I am also seeing an older man who lives overseas. We met almost two years ago when I travelled to the US. This man is also a good man. Both men treat me well.

The overseas man knows I'm seeing someone, but my boyfriend in Jamaica does not know about the older man.

This older man would like me to come and live with him, get married and be with him. I'm seriously considering this offer.

This could mean that I could help my family and myself much more than I am doing now. I have spent time with this man at his home before, so I know he's a good man.

The thing that I am worried about is how this would affect my Jamaican boyfriend. I love him and he loves me too, but I also love the other man.

I don't want to hurt any of them, but whichever one I chose, someone will get hurt. I know I can have a good life with either of these men, so I don't know what to do. I am awaiting your response.


Dear Anonymous,

As I see it, your problem is greed. You just want money and more money, and both of these men are able to give you money.

You are a greedy woman. You know the older man who lives in the US can do more for you because he is living in the 'land of plenty'.

He can offer you much more than the man who is in Jamaica. But, you don't want to let the guy in Jamaica go because you are not sure what might happen to the relationship you are having with the American.

Why can't you learn to be honest? The guy that you are with here in Jamaica believes that you are genuine. Both of you are even trying to have children.

He is spending his money on you, and yet your m ind is also on this older man. You are a wicked girl. You are deceitful. You can't be trusted. Break up your folly ground. Stick with one man. Which one of these men do you love more? Greed will destroy you if you don't change.


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