Got an STI from cheating on my woman

April 01, 2019

Dear Pastor,

I am a man who was born in Jamaica, but grew up in New York. My parents are Jamaicans. They always encourage me to marry someone who is from Jamaica because American women don't like to cook. They live on fast food.

My mother always cooked for my father although she had a full-time job. My father sometimes used to tell her not to bother with the cooking. He would cook on weekends.

I met a girl in college; she was not Jamaican, but her mother was. We went together for two years. My parents loved her.

My mother taught her how to cook, but she did not like the kitchen. She helped me financially because her parents had good jobs with the city and she always had money.


We decided to live together. My parents told us that instead of paying big rent, we could fix up the basement and live there until we were ready to move out.

Pastor, she had a terrible temper and when she was not pleased about something, she would throw anything at me.

One night I went out with the guys and we had a wild time. I slept with a girl who was at the party, and one of the guys told her that when they were looking for me to bring me home, they couldn't find me. I admitted that I was with this girl and she packed and left.

This girl was the bartender and she was employed at night to mix drinks. I can't even remember everything that happened between the girl and I, but I knew we had sex and I did not use a condom, so that made matters worse.

I begged my girlfriend to come back. Eventually she came, but before we started to resume having sex, I realised that something was wrong with me.

I went to the doctor and it was confirmed by tests that this other girl had given me an STI.

Now I am about to lose my girlfriend permanently. I contacted the girl who infected me and she cursed me. All I was trying to tell her is that she should go to the doctor and take care of herself.

My girlfriend told me that she had never been unfaithful to me and she will never trust me again. I send her flowers every day. I can't reach her.

Please, tell me what I should do. She is very close to my mother. When she left here, she was staying with a friend.

Now she is trying to get an apartment on her own. I can't live without this girl. Help me to get back my girl.


Dear T.C.,

Sometimes there are things that men do that they will have to live with until they die. It is unfortunate that you went out with the guys and you got carried away, drank too much, and ended up having unprotected sex with the bartender.

Evidently, she was infected by somebody and she passed it on to you. Now she is insulting you. I hope that she would take your suggestion and go to the doctor.

My friend, I don't know if you consider the gravity of the problem. Using protection, especially the condom, is not just to protect you from impregnating your partner; it is also to protect you fro m STIs.

I hope that you would be able to win back the heart of your woman. It is not going to be easy. Trust is never easy to regain. Your friends who were with you at the party don't like you.

Friends ought to protect each other, and to make sure that you did no t get drunk and do stupid things.

If you went to th e party with them, they should have made sure that you got back home safely. They ought to have known that you were living with a woman.

They should have searched for you when you went missing.

If you want your woman to start loving you again, you have to tell her the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

You also have to convince her that both of you should call a family counsellor and set up counselling sessions.

Your girlfriend might be holding out on you as a form of discipline. Humble yourself and be very penitent.


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