Is my Rasta son losing wife to her church brother?
This is the first time I am writing to you, but I always read your column and listen to you at nights. I am 50 years old and I have four children, but only one with my wife. My first son is a Rasta. I grew up all my children in church, but this one has turned a Rasta. He is a good guy. None of my children have given me trouble. They are law-abiding children.
My first son has two children. Although he is a Rasta, his girlfriend agreed to marry him. Now she is complaining to me that he does not want her to go to church anymore, and he doesn't want her to wear pants anymore. But because of her job, she still has to wear it, because it is not convenient for her to always wear skirts on her job.
I spoke to him and he told me that his wife is not telling me the whole story. He heard that she has gotten very close to one of the brothers in her church and she is denying it. But, according to her movements, he can see a big change in her. She is even wearing shorter skirts and exposing her legs; and her pants are tighter than usual. He also got to find out that she is making plans to leave Jamaica without telling him. He didn't have to fight her for sex, but now, she is always tired.
I told her what he said and she is not admitting anything. So, I am asking you to tell me what is the best way to save this relationship for the sake of the children?
You said that this young lady agreed to marry your son although she knew that he is a Rastafarian. There is an exhortation in the Bible that has stood the test for generations. It says that people should not be unequally yoked in their love relationship. They should have the same beliefs or similar. The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 6:14, "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? Or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?"
Your son loves this woman and she loved him, but things got sour when your son insisted that his wife should not wear certain clothes. He also accused her of infidelity, which she has denied. He is against the Church although he grew up attending church. He is a changed man.
If both of them are willing to listen to a counsellor, that can make a great difference. I am not sure if they would be willing to meet with a counsellor, but that is what I recommend. I doubt that he would want to abandon his beliefs, and his wife would probably not be willing to join his group. Unless they are willing to compromise, this marriage is doomed to fail.
Please do not take side. Just encourage them to seek professional help.