I am having an affair with my boss

May 13, 2019

Dear Pastor,

I have a problem. I have four children, but I have never been married. These children are for three different men. However, two of them are in one man's name. He believes that both of them are for him.

When I told him that I was pregnant with the last one, I did not tell him that he did not got me pregnant, but he took it for granted that the child is his. He did not know that I was cheating on him. He was married and he admitted to his wife that he got me pregnant and she forgave him. He didn't know that I was seeing another man, so he took the child as his.

When the child started to grow up, you can see that he had no resemblance for the man. He said it to me a few times. The real father of the child told me he would support him but I would have to change the child's name. I don't want to go into that. I am working as a helper and I am having an affair with my boss. His wife is never at home. She works in the tourist industry and all of their children are grown.

I go beyond the call of duty to take care of this man. He pays me well. His wife is responsible for paying me, but I get much more from him after she has given me the amount we agreed I should get. He jokes about it when he gives me extra money. He always says to me this is for service rendered.


In December, for Christmas, after they had given me extra, he gave me a picnic ham, some wine and cake, and $20,000. But he did not give me that at the house; I had to meet him at the supermarket.

I told him I would like to learn a skill. He said that he could not give me time off, and that I would have to ask his wife about that. He said I have great skills already because I know what to do to make a man happy, and that is a good skill for anyone to have.

Sometimes I wonder what I should do. I don't want to stop working with the couple, but his wife says that she is tired and she is thinking of retiring at the end of the year. If she retires, she will spend most of her time at home. This man tells me that I should not worry about that, we will deal with it when the time comes.

I know if I start to go to school, I could not do it every day, but I would love to do my own business and not to be a helper every day. Kindly give me your advice.


Dear A.S.,

I supposed you are a very attractive woman and your boss has fallen in love with you and have been treating you very well. He is getting from you what his wife is not giving him because she is so busy. It is not unusual for men to get involved with their helpers and to give them much more money than what their wives and they had agreed to pay them, and that is exactly what he is doing.

You go all out to please this man, and I am sure he is happy about that. I am sure you wonder from time to time how long the relationship would last. The woman of the house has indicated to you that she is planning to retire by the end of the year. You assume that to mean she will be spending much more time at home, and your time to be with this man would be limited.


I don't know what type of business you would like to go into; but whatever that might be, I hope it would be something that can help you. You have children and you have to make sure that these children are taking care of.

Right now, you are making enough to take care of them. One man is giving you support for at least two of them. If people have been saying to him that one of the children doesn't resemble him at all, he might just stop giving you the amount necessary to support them.

Anyway, I think you should insist that you should be given enough time to go back to school. I say insist, but you cannot demand the time if you are working as a helper. You are a very powerful young woman. I say 'powerful' because you have been able to capture this man with whom you work, so at least he will listen to you, although he teased you by saying that you are already good at what you do so you don't need any more training.

Show this man why you believe that you need some type of skill to help yourself, and tell him that although you have enjoyed playing around with him, you know that cannot last, so beg him to release you.

By the way, you are going to lose your job anyway if the woman of the house finds out that you have been playing with her husband. So, please bring that to an end, regardless what the man says.


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