My mom had me with a married man

June 17, 2019

Dear Pastor,

I am 18 years old and I grew up with my mother and grandparents. I did not know my father until I was 15 years old. I used to ask my mother about my father, and she used to tell me that he was only a sperm donor and I didn't need to worry about him.

When I was going to high school, there was another girl who was also my age. People used to say we look alike. One day I said it to my mother, and she told me that people resemble people. This girl's father was married. I didn't like her because she was always dressed properly and she always had money. She did not take the bus to school.

I have my mother's name. When it was coming up to my 15th birthday, I invited some of my classmates to our house, and this girl asked me why I didn't invite her. I told her she could come along. We also went to Devon House. When we were about to leave Devon House, this girl gave me a ride home. My mother was at the door when I got home. When I came out of the car, my mother asked me who brought me home, and I told her. She did not say anything.

A couple days after, I got a call from this girl's father, and he said that his daughter gave him my number and he would like to see me when he comes to the school. When he came, a group of us took pictures. This girl took a picture of her father and I. When my grandmother saw the picture, she asked my mother if this man is my father, and my mother confessed that he is my father.

My grandmother told her that it was time for her to tell me the whole truth. I could not bear it. I asked my mother a million times that night if it was true that this man is my father, and she told me that he is. She said I had to keep quiet about it because she made him a promise that she would not destroy him. She also said that I should not say anything to my sister, who everybody says I resemble.

My father has accepted me as his own, and his wife knows everything about me now. He told me that he can help me to go to college. I am glad to know my father, but I feel very shy around him. My mother is very embarrassed over how she got pregnant by this man, but she wants me to get the help to go to college. I haven't told anybody about it.


Dear C.T.,

Whatever you can get from your biological father, accept it, but do nothing to embarrass your mother. I couldn't publish everything that you have written. I am glad that your father is in a position to help you get a good education. You mother is not a bad woman. She has kept a lot of things in her heart to protect your father. Please be respectful to your mother. I wish you well, and I hope that you and your sister would become very close and learn to love each other.


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