My sister helping my sick husband to masturbate

June 25, 2019

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem and I am writing for your advice. I am 41 years old and I am married. I am Jamaica-born, but living in America. My husband was born in America and is a successful businessman. He is 52 years old. My husband was involved in an accident and was home recuperating. We needed someone to take care of him while he is at home.

I have a sister who lives in Jamaica. She volunteered to come and help me with my husband. I thought that she would be the ideal person. She has two children and she could take the break. She wouldn't have to hide because she would be in the home and nurse my husband while I am at work. She and my husband were good friends. Whenever we were visiting Jamaica, he would buy gifts for her children. She was given six months to stay in the country. Everything was alright. She did everything for my husband and she kept the place very clean.

My husband made great progress. I became suspicious of my sister because even when I was at home and my husband had to have a bath, she would go ahead of me and bathe him. I went into the bathroom one day while she was giving my husband a bath, and my husband's penis was as stiff as an electric wire. I asked her if that happens all the time and she said only sometimes.

I asked my husband if something was going on between them and he said I should be ashamed of myself to ask him that question. That night I could not rest, so I got up and went into my sister's room and asked her quietly whether she and my husband has ever had sex. She said no, but he has asked her to masturbate him and she has done so. I told her that I was going to have to ask her to leave, and she said it is because I don't trust her.

She is still here. She told my husband that I want her to leave and he is very upset with me. He is walking much better now, but he still needs help.

Please, I am asking you to tell me what to do. I haven't said anything again to my sister about leaving, and I will do whatever you think is right.


Dear E.B.,

Many years ago, a man told me that he became ill and was hospitalised. He could not tidy himself, so a nurse had to be looking after him. She was a very attractive nurse. He said while she was doing her work, he had an erection. The nurse looked at him and said Mr So-and-So, behave yourself. He said to the nurse, "But nurse, I can't help myself. Both of my hands are tied up and I have feelings." The nurse tidied him and it happened another time. The nurse and he became good friends and after he got discharged from the hospital, the friendship with the nurse developed further and they got married and had children together.

Your sister and your husband are not going to get married. With good intentions, you encouraged your sister to come and help you take care of your husband. I believe that she did her best. In fact, you were satisfied with her work. If you had not gone into that room, you would not have even thought that they were fooling around from time to time.

You saw your husband with an erection and that surprised you, because you were so naive to believe that in his condition he would not have an erection. You became suspicious of your sister and you questioned her and she told you that from time to time she masturbates him. That has annoyed you, so you are determined to send her home.

I am not going to encourage you to do so. It may cause a big argument between you and your husband. Your sister could be warned not to yield to the wishes of your husband. He is not having sex with her. Perhaps she wants him to feel comfortable, so she complies. You shouldn't judge your sister's motive because she did not allow you to tidy your husband, even when you wished to do so.

Please, reconsider the threat you made to send her home. Maybe nothing intimate has developed between your husband and your sister.


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