Will not lose my virginity to a sugar daddy

July 08, 2019

Dear Pastor,

Ever since I was 12 years of age, I became a regular reader of your column. I always look forward to read the good advice you give to people to help with their various problems. I am now 16 years of age and I am in need of your help. I live with my grandparents, mother and uncle. I'm currently attending a traditional high school and will be sitting eight Caribbean Secondary Education Certificate subjects in 2020.

Pastor, my mother does not have a good-paying job, but she works very long hours to ensure that I attend school the majority of the time and to provide food on the table. My father is now married and living in England with his wife and children. He usually supports my mother and me, but has stopped when I started high school, even though he makes great money.

The major issue I'm having is that my mother doesn't have sufficient funds to pay for the subjects I will be sitting. I am also in need of a laptop in order to do my school-based assessments, but my mother cannot afford to purchase one. I have met many successful men who eventually became aware of the situations I'm facing. They said they would help me, but I would have to engage in sexual activities with them. So far, I have rejected all of these proposals, as I do not believe in selling my body for money.


My friend told me that I was stupid to reject such offers and that I should start sleeping with older men, because that is what she does most of the times. Pastor, that is not the type of life I wish to live and I do not intend on losing my virginity to a sugar daddy.

In April of this year, I went to my member of parliament for assistance in finding a summer job so I could save the money to help with the payment for my subjects. Unfortunately, he said that I was too late. My wish is to pass my subjects and attend the University of Technology (UTech). I would like to become an entrepreneur and a marketing manager. If attending UTech is not possible due to financial problems, I would still love to have my subjects.

I know there are many kind-hearted persons out there and I would be most grateful for any form of help I can receive. I am looking forward to your response soon.


Dear N.S.,

You have not said whether your father is aware that you need to pay for your subjects and that you need a laptop. I doubt very much that he would be happy if you become sexually involved with anyone to get money to meet your needs.

I would suggest that you write him and inform him of your needs. Your mother should also let him be aware of the things that are facing her concerning you. You did not send me a telephone number. However, you should write me back and send that to me, and you should also inform me whether you attend church and what is the name of the church and the pastor. I also need to know the name of your school. I want to verify what you are saying before I offer you help.

I am not saying that you are not speaking the truth; I just feel that I should verify what you say. I hope you will understand. I look forward to hearing from you. I cannot encourage you to take advice from your friend who has been sleeping with men to get money. Until I hear from you, I assure you of my prayer.


Other Tell Me Pastor Stories