Found out my boyfriend has a babymother

July 18, 2019

Dear Pastor,

I am writing you because I trust you and I know that you would tell me the truth even though it would hurt. I am 18 years old and I have a boyfriend. He is 28.

I am on break from college, so I came to Jamaica to spend some time with him. He sent money to me to pay my fare.

He did not know the exact date that I was coming because I wanted to surprise him.

A friend of mine and I travelled together and her father took me to my boyfriend's home when I got to Jamaica.

I called him, but he thought I was calling from New York. He said he was at home cooling out. So, we talked and when I got to his house, the place was in darkness.

He looked out and saw me, and had me standing there. I told my friends that they could leave.

When he finally opened the door, he did not hug me. I went in and saw a girl who was in a nightie. I asked him who she was and he said she was his babymother.

I asked him why he didn't tell me he had a babymother, and he didn't answer. The girl did not say a word until I said to him that the two of us could not stay there.

He started to blame me for showing up without informing him. I told him to take me to a hotel and I would take the plane the next day back to New York.


He had no money. He told his babymother that she would have to leave. I told her that she should stay because I wouldn't be sleeping in the same room where he was sleeping with her.

The room would have to be fumigated. He helped her to pack her bag and at first, she resisted, but later cooperated.

While she was resisting, she started to raise her voice and was questioning him about me.

He took her away and did not return for hours. He knelt down and begged me pardon. I spent two weeks with him and there was not a day that he didn't ask me to forgive him.

And the girl did not come back while I was there. I told him he could bring her back with the baby. I don't believe that he has a child with her.

I don't know what I should do now, but he calls me every day. Do you think I should forgive him?


Dear T.S.,

You would have to make your own decision about what you should do with this relationship. You came suddenly because you wanted to give him a surprise, but instead, you got a surprise. He had another woman in his apartment. I can't encourage you to continue with this man, but you know how you feel about him.

I want you to know that lots of women have caught their men with other women. Some have forgiven these men and some have not.

I wonder how he would feel if he had caught you with another man. Have you wondered where he went with this woman? Was it to her home? Did they spend the rest of the night in his car? Where was he?

Your experience with this man ruined your vacation. I hope that what happened would not cause you never to trust a man.

I don't expect this man to tell you the whole truth. He is going to try and lie his way out of the problem he got himself in.


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