My man is worried that I’m going to leave him

July 22, 2019

Dear Pastor,

I am a 30-year-old woman, and I am having a problem. My man is 58 years old, and we have been living together for nearly four years. He was married, but his wife passed away. Soon after his wife died, we became friends, and I went to live with him. He has one son, but they don't get along.

His son and I get along very well. When I say they don't get along, they don't quarrel or anything like that because he is a very quiet man. He is disappointed in his son because he did not go to university, and he was expecting much more from him. Some people think that I am with him for his money, but that is not the case.

We discussed that before I went to live with him. But in recent times, he talks about it because his best friend's wife, who was much younger than his friend, left him for a guy in her own age group. So, he asked me if I had that in mind. I told him that I will never leave him. He asked how could he be sure, and I told him that no one could be sure what will happen in life, but I don't intend to leave him. His friend is broken because he treated his wife well. My boyfriend is spending a lot of time with him to encourage him.

Pastor, I don't see why I should leave this man. I have everything I need. I even have an account with my name only. But from the way he is talking, his friend is warning him to be careful of me because of my age. I don't know what to do or say to him, but I know that I have been loyal to him. I have a good job, and I don't want to lose this man. Your kind advice would be appreciated.


Dear A.L.,

I can see why your man is concerned. His friend's woman left him for a man in her age group. He shouldn't use that to judge you, though, but it is human for him to think about it and to wonder whether he would suffer the same fate. You would have to encourage him that you have no such intention of moving on.

You are fortunate to have a good relationship with his son. They don't get along, but I must warn you not to say anything negative about his son to him. Neither should you say anything negative to his son about him. I do not doubt that you love this man, but believe me, he is concerned about his friend. Perhaps what he did not think about years ago about your relationship with him has been going through his mind since his friend has lost his wife.

I could only encourage you to be true to this man. You are working. Make sure that you save your money, and treat this man royally. Be loyal to him and assure him that he is the best man in the world.


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