Sister and I were sharing the same guy

July 26, 2019

Dear Pastor,

I am a Christian girl. I am 21 years old. I wasn't always a Christian. I never used to go to church when I was growing up.

I come from a home of five children. Even when my mother was in her 40s, she was going out to parties. I have two brothers and they got themselves into trouble early.

My sister and I started to have sex when we were in our early teens. We did that to get money. All of us belong to different fathers. People used to call my mother a prostitute.

My mother used to drink and gamble. She did not know her father. Sometimes when she was going to sleep out, she used to leave us with our grandmother.

My grandmother used to curse all the time. Many times she left us with grandma and did not give grandma any money to buy food for us.

My sister and myself got pregnant for the same man. My baby died and the man took the baby from my sister and gave him to his sister and her husband.

We did not know that this man was having sex with the two of us until after we got pregnant.

I am working in a store and I have a boyfriend. He is younger than I by one year. He is the one who caused me to start attending church.

Every week, I try to buy clothes that I can wear to church.

I told the pastor that I would like to be baptised. He said that I should keep coming to the church first, then he would baptise me when he sees that I am serious about serving God.

I am very serious. He asked me about my boyfriend and I told him that we have not had sex as yet, and we don't intend to do so until we are married.

He said that is good. Do you think that we are too young to get married?


Dear F.P.,

I am glad that you are attending church and that your life has changed. Don't condemn yourself. I am not going to encourage you to be in a hurry to get married.

What I will encourage you to do is to try and go back to school in the evenings. You are going to need an education, or you should try your best to learn a skill.

Some people get married when they are young and the marriages work. But I don't want to encourage this guy and you to get married right away.

Give yourself time to get to know him very well. And seek guidance from older Christian people. Don't let anyone force you to get married until you feel you are ready to do so.


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