Gambling my life away

August 09, 2019

Dear Pastor,

Greetings to you. I have a problem with this man I call my children's father. We have three children together. They are all boys; twins and a baby who is two months old.

From ever since I have known him, I have had a problem with my babyfather and his ex-girlfriend, but he was always saying that they were not together and she said it was over as well.

But to me, it's like they are just on and off.

I have been living with him and his family for four years now. We have been living without light for more than a year and a half now, and every time I talk about it, it is like I am not to say anything.

I gamble and I want to stop but as a result of the darkness, I would go out with my friends. Even if I don't want to gamble, I end up doing so, and I always lose.

Most times I would come in late, like even, say, midnight, while his parents are keeping the children.

When I got pregnant the last time, his mother told him that he should do a DNA test to ensure that the baby was his because I maybe out giving him bun. I wanted them to do the DNA test. I gave birth and even though I am burning up inside, I want to lash out at them. But I just keep smiling inside for peace sake.

He is a soldier and I think his family means more to him than his own children. I can't say or tell him to do anything without his parents being included, especially his mother.

I think I should be compensated for all these years I have wasted with him. It has always been verbal, emotional and mental abuse. I can't say physical abuse because whenever we fight, I always fight back. I await your advice.


Dear J.D.,

You should have learned to protect yourself from pregnancy because evidently, this man does not care. He is not protecting you from getting pregnant. So, you should protect yourself.


You are living in his parents' house without electricity. Why is that so? Why can't you all apply for power? Well, I better not go there, because I don't understand your circumstances.

You say that you are a gambler, but you would like to stop. I suppose, however, that you are always hoping that you would win big. Perhaps you need to receive professional help.

In fact, I would suggest that you discuss your problem with a psychologist.

I would suggest that you contact Gamblers Anonymous in Liguanea. The numbers are (876) 969-3555, (876) 877-7074 or (876) 470-7501.

I am really concerned about what you are doing. Try your best to live in peace with your children's father. Be wise and always be respectful to his parents as well.


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