Don’t believe my girlfriend was raped
I hope everything is okay with you. I am a long-time reader and a big fan of you and your work. Keep up the great work. It is very much appreciated.
I am a 22-year-old student at The University of West Indies and I have been with this girl for more than three years now. I am genuinely crazy about her.
She is my world and I plan on marrying her someday. I have been so loyal (because dem seh man a dog) and I want to prove to her that I am worth her love.
I had cut off multiple women to start this relationship, because she is everything in a woman that I prayed to God for.
Recently, she came to me and told me that she was raped by a co-worker at the call centre where she works.
The incident didn't happen at the centre; it happened at an area that she believes was his home, but she didn't know for sure.
Pastor, I am trapped in two minds at the moment because I don't know her as a liar, but her story is somewhat 'shaky'.
We had an argument a couple of months ago and she left the house that we both live in and went back to her parents' home for awhile.
The argument we had wasn't even that serious. During the time she started working, she met a guy who approached her as a friend and they began contacting each other on a regular basis behind my back.
Why would you hide a friend? So, when our argument happened, she contacted him and he took her to get food and brought her to the location where she said the incident happened.
He went as far as ejaculating inside of her and I have never done that before and we have been together for three years.
We don't even use condoms. She said she tried to fight him off once but because of fear of being hurt, she stopped and let him do his thing.
I started to question her about the incident and she doesn't want to report it. She doesn't want me to confront him, and she gets really upset when the topic is brought up.
I believe they were in a little relationship and she went there to talk to him, maybe to hurt me back for our simple argument; I really don't know.
I even found pictures of him in her phone that made my theory even more of a possibility. But at this point, I don't know what to believe.
While questioning her, she said she blocked him from her social media and her phone, which he shouldn't have had in the first place.
She has apologised a million time since, but I can't seem to forget.
Pastor, I need your advice. I am still in love with her, but I hate her for breaking the trust and betraying me.
I try to move pass it, but it still lurks, because I have so many questions passing through my head.
I don't think I can ever love again because I have been going through so much lately, and now this.
Dear Brokenhearted Boy,
You do not believe that this young woman was raped. You believe that she had consensual sex. You don't believe her story is straight.
You say you still love her, but from the tone of your letter, you don't. The trust has been destroyed. Both of you should agree to make an appointment to see a family counsellor.
By the way, you have been having unprotected sex with this young woman and that is a very silly thing to do. You should know that you could get her pregnant, even if you did not purposefully ejaculate in her.