Haunted by my sexual past

November 06, 2019

Dear Pastor,

I'm a regular reader of your column. As a teenager, I have been facing a lot of problems and I am asking you for help. Next year I will be doing CXCs and I wish I would pass all my subjects so I can make my mother proud.

The main reason I'm writing is about my past. Boys have made a fool out of me, but I wish to change that. I used to talk to this boy who took my virginity. He made my life miserable after a time. Then I talked to two other boys who I didn't know were friends. Each time I saw them together, I said to myself, "What a fool I made out of myself." I talked to three friends. Alongside that, I also spoke to another guy and we had sexual intercourse, and his stepbrother saw me another time and said he needs to talk to me about something. I went to see him and he had sex with me forcefully, and he went around telling persons how he had sex with me.

Now my schoolmates are saying that I had sex with two brothers. I am so tired of everything, even though I put these things behind me. I am now focusing on my future and how to have a better life.

I am looking forward to your response.

Anonymous

Dear Writer

I felt so very sorry for you as I read your letter. You did not indicate your age but I suspect that you are a teenager. Individuals aged 15 or younger in Jamaica are not legally able to consent to sexual activity. The guy who had sex with your forcefully violated you, and can be prosecuted in a court of law. This matter can still be reported to the police.

I don't consider you a bad girl at all. You have made mistakes and these mistakes cannot be reversed. But, you can learn from them. You were promiscuous. You were naive and boys sense that and took advantage of you. These guys were not good because good guys don't go around and tell everybody with whom they have had sexual intercourse.

The guys talked about it because they consider that you were easy to get. And when guys tell others about the girls with whom they had sex, they are really trying to encourage their friends to go and get a piece of the action, so to speak.

I am glad that you have come to your senses and that you have stopped having sex with these guys. I want you to forgive yourself for the mistakes that you have made and focus hard on your lessons. Yes, study very hard and you will do well in your exams. Don't visit these guys at all. Don't entertain them in anyway. Pray and ask God to help you. Read your Bible and go to church. I will be praying for you.

Pastor

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