My girlfriend doesn’t respect me

November 07, 2019

Dear Pastor,

I hope you're doing well. I am an avid reader of your column; keep up the good work. I need your advice. I have been dating this young lady for the past five months. I am 27 and she is 21 years old.

Recently, we've been having some problems. I realise she has some anger issues and she doesn't know how to speak to people. She speaks to me as if I am a little boy, and she's very disrespectful.

Lately, I realised I can't seem to do anything right in her eyes; it has gotten so bad that I had to stop speaking to her for an entire week. I can't seem to talk to her without her getting angry.

Right now, I feel like giving up on her. However, I really love her and want to fight for her, but I don't know if she wants me to.

I spoke to her about our relationship and based on the conversation, it's as if she started seeing someone else. She says she like having me around but if I want to leave, I can.

I am hurt and confused as to why she would do this to us. I have tried to make her happy. I think she needs counselling. I am looking forward to your reply.


Dear O.B.,

It is five months now since you have been dating this young woman. That is not a long time, but it is more than enough time to find out whether she is respectful and loves you enough for both of you to continue dating. It appears that she is rude and disrespectful. Therefore, I could not in good conscience encourage you to continue dating her. She gives the impression that you are pushing yourself on her, and that she can tell you whatever she feels like.

Although you love her, she does not behave as if she loves you. So, young man, tell her that you will not go further in the relationship. Wish her well and move on. She has been showing her ugly colours and if you stick around, she will embarrass you before others.

She lacks home training. Some old-time people would say, "She doesn't have any brought-upsy."


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