I slept with two men in one day

November 08, 2019

Dear Pastor,

I am 22 years old and I have two boyfriends, but they do not know about each other.

I don't make them come to where I live, because I am living with my aunt and her husband. My aunt is very strict and she is a Christian.

She helps me with fare, but my parents have to send me money for lunch and they try to pay my school fees, but sometimes they are not able to, so I have to help myself. I largely depend on the guys to help me.

One of them is very nice and I don't have to have sex with him every week. I go to his house and I clean and fix up his place. He has a girlfriend.

She doesn't know about me, but he told me about her. I see his girlfriend's clothes there. When we have sex, I make sure that everything is taken care of. He is a nice guy.

I can't go to the other guy's house. We have to go to motels. He is rough, but he gives me more money than the other guy. He buys me clothes and shoes, and sometimes when my sister asks me where I get these things from, I tell her I credit them.

He gave me a cell phone and I had to hide it from my sister. I told her that I was saving for a phone, so weeks after, I told her I bought one.

I don't want to leave any of these guys because I need their help.

Once I had sex with both of them the same day. I skipped classes to do that because I had to. I went with one of them in the morning hours and the other one in the afternoon. And I got home before it was late.

I am telling you these things, but I am ashamed. It's a good thing you do not know me. I only got $20,000 from the two guys that day, but that money really helped me.

What do you think I should really do, Pastor?


Dear V.B.,

It is never wise to play around with two men. You never know what these men will do to you.

Sometimes when a guy knows that you have another man, he threatens you, he beats you up, and some even wilfully try to get you pregnant. He might not keep what he knows as a secret. He tells others that you are bad.

Some even describe you as a whore. Some guys are definitely awful.


Now, I know that you believe that you need more help, but on the other hand, I think you are so very fortunate. You have your parents in rural Jamaica and they are trying to help you. They are doing their very best. You are living at your aunt's home and you are not paying any bills, and your aunt is helping you with transportation to go to classes.

If you feel that you should have a boyfriend, you should only have one. And if you believe that you need more money, perhaps you should take on a part-time job. You should probably go to school in the evening. So, at least you would be working and earning some money to take care of yourself and reduce the burden on your parents.

I must add quickly that I don't want you to condemn yourself. You are trying to find a way where you can support yourself, but believe me, you are living dangerously. So far you have been able to play the game, but it might not be long from now before these men find out about each other.

Your sister would not be pleased to know that you are having sex with these two men. So, cut out this type of behaviour as soon as possible.


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