Can’t tell my mom that I was raped

November 28, 2019

Dear Pastor,

I was raped at age eight and my mother did not know about it because I could not talk to her.

She cannot 'hold a good conversation' without getting irritated. So, I prefer not to talk to her about anything.

It was when I was 20 that I told her that I loved her, and she said it back. However, my relationship with my dad is great. But you know, I'm his baby so I cannot tell him about it as yet.

I know he might hurt someone even though it happened more than 14 years ago. It has reached the point where I feel that it's no longer necessary to her or if whenever I write my book she will find out.

But I doubt she'll even believe me, but that's on her part.

It's only by the grace of God that I love her because at one point, I hated her because of what transpired and how she treated me, but thanks to the good Lord that I am now saved, baptised and living for Jesus.

I could not talk to my mother so I went to the outside world for love and got hurt three times. However, the hurt was from relationships and it wasn't sexual but emotional.

I believe that she loves me but doesn't know how to show it. I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt.


Dear A.M.,

I am glad you have a good relationship with your father, and you should try your best to develop a good relationship with your mother also.

At least you are trying because recently you told her that you loved her. I have been writing my column for many years and from the time I started, girls have told me how they had been sexually abused by men, even their own relatives.

But they have been called liars and their mothers have beaten them for speaking the truth and have warned them not to say anything about it.

There are those who used to say that these things were not happening and that THE STAR and myself were making them up.

Such ignorance people display. Some men are happy to know that the public takes these things as a joke because it encourages them to continue to rape women and to call these women liars.


I remember one female politician told me that whenever I was ready to go on television, she would be happy to be a guest on my show because she had suffered sexual abuse by a relative. She hated that man so much that when he died, she went to the morgue and said to the undertaker, "I want you to cut off this man's penis and give it to me."

She paid him for cutting it off and she said, in revenge, she took it and burnt it.

You have been able to fight back although you have been abused. You know your father. If you were to tell him that you were sexually molested, he might take the matter into his own hands.

However, I wish you had reported this abuser because all such cases should be reported and the offenders should be arrested, tried and sentenced to prison.

I beg you, however, don't hold anything in your heart against your mother. I repeat, try and live in peace with her and God will bless you for loving her.


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