Praying in vain for a man

November 29, 2019

Dear Pastor,

Since you're a man of God, hopefully you can answer my inquiry using your knowledge, wisdom, and experience.

I don't like praying in vain. The Bible says that a man will not receive anything from God if he is double-minded and his faith wavers like the sea (James 1: 6-8).

I usually pray about something or someone, but if the circumstances or the person doesn't change, I lose faith and take my mind off the desire.

Besides giving thanks and letting my supplications be made known, I pray for love.

I am interested in a young man, but before I went into it, I prayed to God first.

The man told me that he had no interest in being committed to any woman right now and he didn't want to make any woman his priority/obligation.

I knew that he went through a traumatic three-year relationship with his ex which ended bitterly. That is why he's now living as he pleases, with no remorse.

I told my mother what the young man said and she said, "Let him be, you cannot force a man beyond his will. Do not wait for him."

Pastor, should I continue to pray for him in the hope that he'll change his behaviour? I know that things take time and God works on His own timing.

I read the Scriptures to strengthen my faith that in time the Lord will work in my favour.

Please give me your honest opinion.


Dear Writer,

You must stop being bumptious and rude to Almighty God who does all things "according to his good pleasure".

God owns you and you don't have any right to question his wisdom in not answering your prayers when you believe that he ought to answer them.

You speak out of ignorance. I say that because in the Book of James, the Apostle says that one of the reasons God may not answer the prayer of some persons is that they pray "amiss" and the purpose of their prayer is wrong.


Sometimes one has to 'pray through' with long supplication and waiting on God, until God is pleased to answer the prayers.

So, you are totally out of order to believe that you can demand anything from God and believe that you are wasting time when God does not answer your prayers immediately. Sometimes your prayers might not be answered because God may be saying to you that you need to fast and pray.

Or your prayers might be blocked because of sin. Therefore, you need to examine yourself to see if sin is hindering your prayers.

Then there is this matter of faith. The Bible says one should ask in faith and " according to your faith be it on to you " (Matthew 9:29).

The Bible also says, "And all things, whatsoever he shall ask in prayer believing, he shall receive ". There is also a condition to prayer. One has to ask according to God's will.

One may ask for something and God may not grant the request because the request is not according to God's will.

Do you know the will of God for you? If your prayers are according to God's will, you will receive an answer from him.

If you are fully surrendered to the will of God and His word is abiding in you, God will answer your prayers. Read John 15:7. Prayer is not a one-shot thing.

Be persistent in praying. There is no time limit. Don't give up.

I mentioned earlier that sin might be in the way. Unrepented sins can hinder your prayers. Study 1 Peter 3:1-7, Matthew 5:23-24, Matthew 6:12-15, Matthew 18:21-35.

Watch your motive. If you have the wrong motive, God will not answer your prayers. So, deal with your sinful condition first.

Pray as you have never prayed before and God would answer. Stop playing God. You cannot tell God when to answer prayers. You need to be humble.

Don't be like the Pharisees, who believed that they were special because they prayed. Please change your attitude towards God and towards prayer.


Other Tell Me Pastor Stories