Boyfriend only wants sex from me

December 13, 2019

Dear Pastor,

I am a 20-year-old woman and I have a boyfriend. All he wants from me is sex. I have tried to keep up with him, but I am tired of his foolishness.

He is 26. I left home when I was 18 because my stepfather wanted to have a relationship with me, and when I told my mother, she said that is how men are.

I was so disappointed in her, so I went and stayed a few days with a friend. Her boyfriend tried to have sex with me one morning after my friend had left for work. I had to fight him off.

Here's how I met my boyfriend. One day I was walking on the road. A car pulled up and the driver asked me where I was going and I said nowhere. He told me to come in, and I went.

I started to cry and he comforted me. He took me for lunch. He also took me to his workplace. Then he called a woman and asked her if she could board me and she said yes.

I went to stay there with just a few pieces of clothes.

This man is still paying for my boarding and sending me to school in the evening.

He is living with a woman, but he makes time for me. He can come to see me any time. I don't want to leave him.

At the school I am attending in the evening, one of the male teachers is in love with me. He is single. He told me that he lives alone and he would help me with my school work.

I am confused. I don't trust my teacher. But please, don't tell me to leave the man who rescued me.

He is always telling me that he believes that I am keeping a man with him. I told him that I am not. I don't know how to convince him, so give me your advice.


Dear C.G.,

Try your very best in school. But try also to get a part-time job. It might not be easy to get a job until next year because many of the jobs would be taken up by children who are out of school for the Christmas holidays.

But it is always good to work and help yourself. I don't want anybody condemning you for the situation in which you have found yourself. This man has been paying your boarding.


I suggest that you ask your landlady that you would like to have a job and not rely on this man. She might give you some suggestions, but I know that it would be helpful to you to get a job and not to totally depend on this man.

Concerning your schoolteacher, try your best not to get sexually involved with him. That would not be wise .

He said he would help you with your schoolwork, but you would be entangling yourself with him.

You can do without such favour. If you study and do all your assignments, you can do without his help.

You say the man who is paying your boarding loves to have sex. Perhaps he sees that as the only benefit he can get from you, so he wants more and more sex for his kindness to you.

One of these days you are going to get a job, and you will be able to walk away from him because you would be able to pay rent and take care of yourself.

Life can be very difficult for some young people, but trust the good Lord for deliverance.

You know that you are not playing around with any other man, so don't allow what he says to make you depressed.

Some men do not believe that a woman can be faithful to one man. It is true that some women have two, three different men to help pay their bills, but you are not in that category.


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