I have to beg my wife for sex

January 03, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular listener to your show and I read your column often. I am originally from St Elizabeth, but I am living in New York. I have friends and relatives in the United States of America - some in Florida, Georgia and some in New York. I am feeling miserable because I got hooked up with a lady, who is an American, and she has nothing good to say about Jamaica. It is just a matter of time before I divorce her. I am working on it.

My friends think that I am a fool to be with her for so long. I wonder, too, whether she has tied me to her. My sister in Atlanta told me that it looks that way to her. She doesn't cook at all. And if I need some loving, I have to beg for it. We don't have children. She has two, but they are not living with us. Sometimes I feel so depressed. You don't know what I am going through. I am living at her house and she keeps reminding me that it is her place.

I have to make sure I take off my shoes when I enter the house. She does not want me to use her bath; I have to use the shower. It is hard for a man to deal with some of these women who call themselves wives. I have a girlfriend. She is working at the same place with me. We are getting closer and closer. She is married also. But, she has filed for a divorce. I know what we are doing is not right, but I don't have to force her to have sex with me.


What I am doing, I really did not want to do. I have been dealing with a lawyer and soon I will be out of this mess. My wife does not have a clue about what I am doing. Every Sunday she goes to church, and after church she wants us to go for dinner. If I follow what she says, I will not save a cent. The only man I know she likes is her children's father, and he has the children. She is 50 years old and I am 35. She was not like that when I met her.

My girlfriend at work married the wrong man and I have married the wrong woman. I hope that you understand what I am trying to say. Do you think that when I get my divorce and my friend gets her divorce, we can get married without being condemned by the Bible? It is my wife who has driven me to seek love from another woman. I will respect what you say, but I can't stop loving my co-worker.


Dear J.M.,

I cannot encourage you to be having sex with another man's wife. I understand what you are saying, but I want you to know that I can't sanction that. Many people who are living abroad are always attacking Jamaica. On the other hand, some of these women love Jamaican men because they say Jamaican men knows how to love and they are domesticated, they can cook, and clean, etc; some love Jamaica men because they want their money.

Perhaps your wife is like that. But you should stand up for your right and don't allow this woman to push you around.

If you know that you are not getting along, work on your divorce. This woman with whom you have been having an affair evidently is on the verge of getting her divorce, too. When both of you are free, you should seek counselling before you become legally entangled. I wish you well.


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