I got fat and my husband has lost interest

January 07, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I have seen where you have helped many people. I am having problems with my husband. I used to be very slim, but since I had my child I have gained some weight. Now my husband is not relating to me the way he used to. He told me that I should go to the gym, but I don't see why I should go to the gym because I have only put on 25 pounds. I suspect that my husband is having an affair. He is a salesman. Before I added on some pounds, he would take me everywhere he can. Now, he uses the weight and the baby as reasons why he wants me to stay home.

He used to be very jealous, now he does not care how many male co-workers call me any hour of the night. I can wear the sexiest lingerie and my husband would not even look at me. He is always so very tired when he comes home.

Pastor, this is more than a weight problem. I cannot be sure, but I know the man I used to have. This man used to have sex with me two and three times in one night. Now, if I am lucky, he would have sex with me once per week.

Can you please tell me what to do?


Dear B.C,

You have admitted that you have gained weight and that your husband has been encouraging you to go to the gym. I suggest that you should do so. He loves a slim wife. It is not right for you to just accuse him of having another woman. Tell him to give you the money to become a member of a club where you can exercise regularly.

It is not fair for you to accuse him of something you are not sure about. You should be careful not to nag him. Please remember that some men like their women plump, others prefer when they are slim. He ought not to take you for granted; neither should you take him for granted. I could understand why you believe that he has another woman. He has suddenly changed, but, at the same time, he has given the reason why he has.

Again I say, let him pay for you to go to the gym. And I would urge you to stick with it and perhaps you could even encourage him to accompany you to the gym also. So that at least he can see that you are making the effort to take off the excess weight.


Other Tell Me Pastor Stories