Sleeping with my ex’s cousin

January 09, 2020

Dear Pastor,

Thank you for the work that you are doing. I really need your advice on this matter. This is my third time writing to you.

Growing up, I did a lot of things that I regret. I was cared for and supported by a single mom, but I lacked certain guidance, such as advice on dating. Now I have had so many broken relationships.

My very own friend betrayed me with my child's father. She was supposed to be the godmother of my child.

The last guy was a disgrace. He slept with my co-worker while I was on vacation and I found out.

When I was young, I dated this guy and it turned out that he had lied to me, because I found out he was married and I dropped him.

That was about nine years ago when I had just left high school. Now all of us live in the US. His cousin and I have got very close, and we are even having sex with each other.

Now pastor, the thing is we both know of my past and he and I are OK with it. He even wants to make it public. His family members think it is OK for us to date.

I know my mother and others are going to roll their eyes. He is even talking about what my mother and other people would think of me.

If I could change the past I would, but now I've come to love my ex's cousin and want to be with him.

Pastor, he treats me so well and he respects me. I swear, I doubt he is playing me, and I'm so into him. What do you think?


Dear Unnamed,

You are carrying too much baggage. You need to examine yourself and try to get professional help. You are going the same old way and seeking love.


You are mixing up love and lust to be the same. The men you have been with are not serious about you, and your girlfriends are just as loose.

You will never have peace of mind until you change your outlook on life.

Your present boyfriend knows that you are carrying baggage. You say he is not playing you, but you can't be sure. I cannot encourage you to continue this relationship.

You are going to get hurt. I am suggesting that both of you make an appointment to see a family counsellor for professional help.


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