January 10, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 years old and I am living in the US. I have a boyfriend in Jamaica. I am attending college.

I fell in love with another guy who goes to the same school as I do. His parents are wealthy. His father is half-white.

His parents invited me to their home. I felt out of place because they were questioning me about my background.

When I told them that my parents were not married, they were surprised.

My boyfriend told them that they should not question me because life in Jamaica is different. My boyfriend drives his own car, so at times he takes me home or wherever I want to go.

He is the only child for his mother. His father was married, but is divorced. This guy knows that I have a boyfriend in Jamaica.

He does not offer me any money, but we eat out often. His mother and father have their own cars.

Every time we kiss, I think about my boyfriend in Jamaica. I have never had sex with this guy but I promised him that I would.

He does not force me. He likes sports, so he takes me to games. He is a 'mama's boy'. I think I am going to stop going out with him.

S.A.

Dear S.A.,

I am assuming that you go out with this fellow because you are away from your boyfriend who lives in Jamaica. You love your Jamaican boyfriend much more than this guy.

You should be honest with the American guy and tell him how you feel about him. Don't force yourself in trying to love him.

Perhaps you felt very uncomfortable when his father questioned you about your background.

People often want to know the background of the persons that their children are associating themselves with.

So the father of this young man did not mean to embarrass you by questioning you.

You call the young man a 'mama's boy'. He is close to his mother. They have a good relationship, but that does not make him a mama's boy.

It might be wise for you to end the relationship with him before you do anything that is foolish.

You have promised to have sex with him and he might be looking forward to that, but that might be a big mistake.

Don't wait until he invites you out again; just tell him that you are uneasy about the relationship and you would like to bring an end to it.

Pastor

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