My man refuses to use the condom

January 16, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I must say that I am a regular reader of your column. Keep up the good work. I am a 19-year-old college student and this is my first time writing to you.

There are some things happening in my life. When I was in grade 11, one of my teachers was showing an interest in me and I turned him down many times. He kept coming back.

Pastor, I did not like the idea of dating an older man. Anyway, after I left school, he talked to my parents about me going to college. He got me in college and became a part of my life.

He was the first man to see me naked. It has been two years since we have been together and it has been really nice.

emergency contraceptives

He treats me well and I can tell he wants the best for me. He talks to me like I am his daughter and I have come to love him.

The problem I am having is that he is too controlling. He does not feel like he should listen to anything I say. Ever since we started having sex, he hardly uses the condom.

He ejaculates inside me and buys me emergency contraceptives. It makes my period irregular, and my friend says it can affect my fertility.

I was also told that it should not be used as a regular method of contraception because it is not designed for that.

Pastor, I must say that four months after, I put my foot down and decided not to use it anymore. I became pregnant.

He 'let' me have an abortion, but I did not really have a choice. I did that in September 2019. It was the most unbearable thing I have ever felt; words cannot describe.

After everything, we had sex again and he bought the Pill again, saying that he was not going to make what happened before, happen again.

I took it because I was scared. I blame myself for listening to my friend.

Pastor, why can't this man use a condom or withdraw like everybody else? I need your advice.


Dear E.E.,

It is time to end the relationship with this man. He is a wicked brute. He has been assisting you financially and otherwise, but he does not respect you.

Only a wicked man would be having intercourse with you and not use the condom. He is old enough to understand that the morning-after Pill should not be used very often by a woman. He is irresponsible.

You need to pack up and go back to your mother's house. Tell her exactly what is going on. He encouraged you to abort a pregnancy and if you become pregnant again, he might tell you to do the same.

Go home, even if you have to stop attending college for a while do so, but don't stay with that beast.

And by the way, you talk about men withdrawing and not discharging in the woman. I must warn you that the withdrawal method is not safe either, but I will discuss that another time.


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