Mother-in-law thinks I may be carrying a ‘jacket’

July 06, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I am 18 and pregnant. My boyfriend is 35; I hope to have my baby in September. We live in a one-bedroom place, but we are hoping to get a bigger place before the baby is born.

When I got pregnant, my mother quarrelled and said I let her down. My boyfriend does security work and he is really trying. I have two older sisters and they are living in the US.

They tell me I should not worry; they will send me everything I need for the baby. I love my boyfriend so much. He gives me anything I want.


His mother does not like me. He told me she said that when the baby is born, he should do a DNA test. I know I should not have got pregnant, but I was not careless. We always used a condom when we had sex.

But one night when I wanted to have sex, we did not have any condoms so he told me to wait until the following day.

But I told him I couldn't wait, so I forced him to have sex with me. I told him he should not discharge in me but he did and I got pregnant.

I am going to evening classes. I have not stopped because of my pregnancy. He tried to explain everything to his mother but she told him he should not trust young girls. I don't like what she said.

But he said she did not mean anything bad. Pastor, do you think she was right to tell my boyfriend that the child might belong to somebody else? I am really hurt because my boyfriend is the only man I have had. He took my virginity.


Dear L.D.,

Don't be upset with your boyfriend's mother. She was only giving her son advice. He did not have to tell you what she said. A man should not always tell his woman the advice his mother gives him.

I am sure that she meant to caution him to be careful, so don't hold anything against her.

That particular night you had unprotected sex, your body was on fire. So you insisted and look what you have caused. I am glad that you are going to school.

So after you have given birth, continue to do so. I wish you and this young man the very best that life has to offer.


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