Uncle, cousin and stepfather all assaulted me

July 15, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I am 18 and living with my aunt. At the age of eight, I was sent to live with a different aunt.

Her husband molested my little sister and I for more than seven years, but we didn't say anything. I was the older one, and I didn't know that it was wrong until after hearing about 'bad touches' and 'good touches' in school.

When my aunt's son was about 21 and I was eight, he started to make me feel uncomfortable, touching me in ways I did not like.

He started beating me to get me to pull down my clothes. I never gave in because I just never liked the idea.

Pastor, he threatened me to keep quiet. His father did the same thing. When I was 10, his father held me down in my aunt's bed and performed oral sex on me. I felt so ashamed.

Another time, I decided to take a shower. When I took my clothes off, I peeked outside the shower curtain and this man was naked.

I started crying because I knew that it was only God who could help me to get out of this situation. I grabbed my towel and tried leaving the bathroom, but he grabbed my arms. I don't remember how we got on the floor and he was on top of me.

SUICIDE ATTEMPTS

I cried and tried pushing him off, but I could not. A man came by to visit him and that's how I managed to escape.

I was depressed and tried to commit suicide. One day I was at school and I almost jumped off the roof. I started cutting my skin, drinking, and smoking. I even overdosed myself on pills.

A friend accompanied me to the guidance counsellor and helped to get me out of that situation. My aunt and her children treated my sister and me like slaves; we had to do everything in the yard.

After I moved back to live with my mother, I believed all was well, only to realise that I had another obstacle to overcome. My mother had a boyfriend and he started to make me feel uncomfortable.

Once I caught the man peeping while I was taking a shower. I told my older brother and he said that if it happened again, I should let him know. He did it again, and he rubbed down my body one night when my mother went to a dance.

Pastor, I spoke to my mother about it, and she said that I was lying and that I should leave her house. That's how I ended up living with one of my sisters.

Pastor, she is still living with this man. She neglected her children. If it wasn't for my father, Pastor, I don't know where I would be!

I'm longing for my mother's love. I'm longing to feel love, Pastor. I don't know, but I need my mother. I pray to God every day that she would see where she has gone wrong and come back to us because we need someone to talk to.

I've been through much and I am still going through much, but if it wasn't for God, where would I be?

I just want to help young girls out there going through similar issues. I want to encourage them that all they need to do is to keep on fighting, and that one day, they won't have to fight any more.

I'm now a Christian, Pastor. I got baptised three years ago and I don't want to go back, because God is the reason why I'm not dead right now because I should have killed myself long time ago.

Lonely Girl

Dear Lonely Girl,

I was compelled to read your letter several times, and I found myself saying, "God is God". God protected you when you were in the lion's den, so to speak. And God continues to protect your sister and you from these heartless men. Give God thanks.

I love your attitude. Although your mother has failed you and your sister, you are hoping and praying that she will change, and that there will be a reconciliation between herself and her children. I see that you have forgiven your mother.

I am also happy that you have become a Christian, and that you are willing to encourage others to seek the Lord and put their trust in him. I think you would be an excellent counsellor.

I hope and pray that you will be able to attend college or university and be in a position where you can be qualified to talk to young people. My prayers are with you, and I ask you to contact me occasionally.

Pastor

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