Boyfriend denies getting another woman pregnant

July 29, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I am 29 and I have a boyfriend who is 30. We have a six-month-old daughter and I recently found out that he got another woman pregnant. This man and I pledged our loyalty to each other.

The only thing we have not done yet is get married. When I heard that this woman was carrying his baby, I told him that I just wanted to know where she lived because I was quite willing to tear her apart.

His sister told me where the girl was living but my boyfriend is very upset with his sister. As far as I know, all she did was to tell me where the girl lived.

Here is the trouble that I am having. My boyfriend is not admitting anything, and he calls his sister a troublemaker. He said that the girl got pregnant by another man.

I have worked my fingers to the bone to help this man pay for his education. Is this the thanks that I am getting from him? I am not allowing her to get him. I have even gone hungry to support this man. When I met him, he did not even have briefs.

I am not running down my boyfriend, I am only trying to show you why I can't allow him to slip through my fingers and go with this careless woman who allowed him to get her pregnant.

I asked my boyfriend what time he had to associate himself with this woman, and he is still not telling me the truth. He is still saying that she is not pregnant for him.

I did not want to have a child for a man who has an outside child. I want to get your advice very fast before I do something stupid.


Dear R.C.,

Just relax yourself. Cool it. This man has told you that he is not responsible for getting this other woman pregnant. Not even once has he suggested that there is a remote possibility that she could be pregnant by him.

Does that mean he is speaking the truth? I will answer my own question. No, it does not mean he is speaking the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

He might be telling you that he is afraid to explain what went on, and that he knows that to tell you the truth would be to cause all hell to break loose.

It might sound funny but this man might be lying because he loves you and he knows that both of you are coming from very far, and he has made a very, very big mistake.

So he is trying his very best to protect you and his child and to protect himself from your wrath. Please understand that I am not saying that he should lie, but he believes that lying right now is his greatest defence.

So I am begging you to cool it. The truth will be revealed and it will not be a long time from now. You have done your very best to assist this man and he is not going to leave you and marry this other woman who is allegedly pregnant by him.

I cannot encourage you to give up this man, but if he is guilty of impregnating this woman, I can encourage you to beg him to come clean.

After you have adjusted to the fact that he has fathered another child, don't get yourself into trouble. Don't threaten the other woman. Take care of yourself and do your best to let this man know that you are angry but your love for him remains.


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