Better off being a bachelor

August 03, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column. You have not changed. You are still very factual and you hit matters on the head. I need your opinion.

I have been married twice. I do not have luck with women. They don't stay with me; some say it is because I am too jealous. But I am not a very jealous man.

I caught my first wife having sex with my best friend, when she should have been at work. I was at work when I got a phone call saying that my wife was seen with my friend at that time of the day at the complex where he lived.

The person did not give her name but I left my workplace and drove to where my friend lived. When I drove to his place I saw his car parked. He was living on the ground floor. I waited on them for about an hour.

When I could not take it any more, I decided that I would approach the front door. As I went to the door I heard the voice of my wife having fun with this man. I could not believe it.


She should have been at work. But instead she was at this man's house having sex with him. It was only the mercy of God that prevented me from getting in trouble.

I opened the front door and went in but the room door was locked. My wife was in the room with this man having sex. I did not need any more evidence. By the time I got home, she had moved out and we have never slept together again.

I got attached to another woman two or so years after but she, too, has failed me. I do not intend to get married again. It is too hard to trust women. They do not have any respect for themselves and they lie a lot.

Please tell me what to do, and how can a man respect and trust women when he has done his best to please and support his woman.


Dear R.S.,

According to what you have said, you consider yourself very unfortunate. Your wife became sexually involved with your best friend. But after she realised that she had been caught, she left the matrimonial home the very evening.

I am sure that you are thankful that someone from the complex informed you that your wife had gone to your friend's home. And when you went there you did not need any other proof.

The other woman also let you down. These women have caused you to believe that all women are bad. But all women are not bad, and you know that very well.

You know that you are not a saint either, so you should still look around for a woman who would love you and have respect for you and who will be faithful to you.

You can never know what a woman will do and one cannot give any assurance that a woman would not cheat or that a man would not cheat.

I cannot help thinking that the woman who called you and told you that she saw your wife with your best friend at the complex did you a great favour by telling you.

Perhaps she had seen her there before with the man and knew that your so-called best friend was not a friend but a big 'bunna man'.

You say you do not know who she was, but at least she identified herself as living at the complex. I wonder if she has her eyes on you. Time will tell.


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