Conscience killing me after threesome

September 09, 2020

Dear Pastor

This is the first time I'm writing to you. I am 17 years old and I am living with my aunt and her daughter; she and I get along very well. She is 18 years old and has a boyfriend who is 24. He visits her often. My aunt is working, sometimes works at nights, and it is only my cousin and myself who are at the house. The house has two bedrooms; one for my aunt and the other for her daughter, which I share with her.

One night her boyfriend came and he took us out to eat. When we came back, he did not leave at the same time. They were in the living room and I went to bed. I fell asleep and the shaking of the bed woke me up. My cousin and her boyfriend were having sex. I got up and my cousin said to me that I didn't need to get up because her boyfriend would like me to join them.

THEY CONVINCED ME

I was very surprised that she said that to me because she knows that I have a boyfriend. I went to the bathroom and remained in there for a long time. After a while, she came knocking on the door and I answered. She said I should not be afraid, I should come and join them.

I went to the bedroom door and stood there. They convinced me to come into the bed and I went, and both of them started to play with me. The man ended up having sex with me. I have never had a threesome before, I could not sleep for the rest of the night after he left.

I asked my cousin what will happen if he got me pregnant and she said she doesn't know as he did not use any condom with her, either. I feel so bad to know that I had a threesome at my age. I asked my cousin if she ever did that before and she said yes; she did so with a man and his woman.

This woman's boyfriend lives abroad, but he was visiting her from America and they invited her to join them in bed. They gave her US$200 because they knew she needed a pair of shoes, so she took the money.

My conscience is bothering me because I did not expect to have a threesome at such a young age. I never thought that I would engage in that type of sex. I am still staying with my cousin, but I want to leave. I cannot let my aunt know the real reason why I want to leave.

As I said, my conscience is bothering me and every time I see my cousin's boyfriend I hate him. Please tell me what to do.

P.

Dear P.,

I am sorry to hear that you got involved in illicit sex. You did not have the courage to resist your cousin and her boyfriend and that is very unfortunate. When your cousin invited you to have sex with her boyfriend and herself, you should have said no and insisted that you did not want to participate.

Your cousin and her boyfriend should have had respect for you. Your cousin should not have engaged in sex on the same bed where you were sleeping, that is so despicable. She told you that she had engaged in a threesome before with another man and his woman. What she was trying to say to you is that there is nothing wrong for a man to have sex with two women at the same time because she had done so.

Now you are saying that your conscience is bothering you because you did not expect to engage in a threesome at your age, and also because you have a boyfriend in rural Jamaica. As you reflect on what you have done, you realise that this man could have gotten you pregnant.

I believe that you should leave your aunt's house. It is likely that this man, your cousin's boyfriend, and her will try to engage you into doing a threesome again, because your aunt is not always at home. If you think that you can remain at the house, you should advise your cousin that you would never participate in a threesome with her again. If her boyfriend tries to have sex with you, you should report him to your aunt.

Pastor

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