Stepdaughter said my son lusts for her

September 10, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I am 40 and I have a 21-year-old son. My wife of five years has a daughter, who is 20. Both of them are living here with us.

My wife's daughter complained to her mother that my son has been harassing her, touching her and telling her that he loves her.

She said once he tried to kiss her. I asked him about it and he denied it. We had a family meeting and he again denied it.

He said that she is the one who is always telling him how muscular he looks, and she likes guys who are muscular. But he said he never touched her or tried to kiss her.

My wife said that she doesn't see any reason why her daughter would lie. My wife says that my son has to go because she does not want him to rape her daughter.

I told her that it is my house, and that it is not fair for me to ask my son to leave and for her daughter to remain, because my son is my blood and he is the only son I have.

So if she is going to insist that my son has to leave, her daughter will have to leave, also.

SHE IS PLANNING ON LEAVING

We said strong words to each other and she moved out of our bedroom and is sleeping with her daughter.

I try to make up with her, but she said that she is planning to leave, unless I put out my boy.

I asked her daughter to explain how my son harassed her. She said he made rude remarks and told her that he would love to do things with her.

I wanted a good marriage and that is why I stayed so long to get married, but I am not going to put out my son to please my wife. I am asking you to please give me your advice.

F.P.

Dear F.P.,

I am very sorry to hear that your son and stepdaughter have accused each other of lying.

Your wife believes her daughter is speaking the truth, and you believe that your son is speaking the truth. She insists that you should put out your son and you have refused to do so.

You reminded her that the house is yours. I could understand that both of you said harsh words to each other.

I cannot take sides in this matter, but it wouldn't surprise me at all to learn that your son may have said some cheeky things to your stepdaughter.

I hope you won't be upset that I made this comment. Remember, she is not related to him by blood; he might have been admiring her.

Perhaps he meant no harm in what he said to her, but she was not willing to allow him to make these comments and not report him to her mother.

If this young man should leave, where would he go? He's only 21, but as far as your wife is concerned it doesn't matter, as long as he is not in the home, and you are terribly against that.

There must be some type of compromise on this matter. In a world where people seem to believe women more than men when it comes to sexual harassment or abuse, it might be wise to help your son to get another place to live. Is it possible for you to ask a relative to allow your son to live with them and you help to contribute to his upkeep until he is in a position to fully support himself?

I know what I am saying may not please you, but I would hate to know that this young woman and her mother would do things that would spoil his good name.

I know you are angry, but think about what I have said, and show your son why you would suggest that there be a separation. I suggest that you help him to find another place to live.

Pastor

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