If I leave him, I’ll go broke

September 28, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I have always read your columns, but I never knew I would get into a situation where I would to write to you. I really need your advice.

I'm 25 years old. I have a four-year-old son. My babyfather and I have been together from 2015. When I met him, he told me he was single, and I was single also.

So we started to date each other. After getting pregnant, I lived at his house that he has in Jamaica. He lives overseas.

When I was five months' pregnant, someone messaged me on my phone, telling me that he was married. When I asked him about it, he asked who had told me that.

I sent him the message that was sent to me. His reply was that I must not listen to anyone and that whenever he came to Jamaica, he would talk to me because it was inappropriate to talk over the phone.


When he came to Jamaica, he told me that he had got married but that it was a business marriage. I told him I couldn't continue with the relationship.

He stopped me from moving out and begged me to stay. I stayed, but now I'm having hell. His wife knows about the baby and me, and she doesn't want him to care for us, so he has to hide when sending stuff for us.

I do business for him in Jamaica, but whenever we have any form of disagreement, he runs me out of his house and tells me to hand over his keys.

He says that he can't let his wife know certain things because his life would be hell when he goes back to the US. Whenever we disagree, he doesn't give the baby anything. I am not working at the moment and neither are my parents.

I depend solely on him for food for my son and me because of the whole pandemic. I want to leave this man, but how will my baby and I survive? Please for your advice, Pastor.


Dear B.,

Try your best and get a job and give this man his house keys permanently. He is making a fool of you. He lied his way into your life and he continues to lie.

You should discuss with a lawyer how to get child support from him. An immigration lawyer might help you.

Try and get his social security number. It would be much easier to get money out of this man for your son. Leave him as soon as possible.


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