He was a player so I told him goodbye

November 26, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I am 20 years old. I met a man two years ago when I just started to attend college. Our relationship was going very well. He is a very handsome guy and he loves music.

He spends plenty of time in the entertainment world. I told him that I was at school to get an education and not to learn how to 'wine'. I used to associate with some girls and they were very nice girls and they all liked him. One of them was fortunate to have money. She was from one of the islands and when no one had money, she had. I observed that she and the guy were getting very close. I spoke to him about it. I told him that it was either her or me. He told me I was too jealous and I needed to loosen up.

Some of my friends also talked to him and told him that they didn't like how he was carrying on. He and the girl broke away from our group and I spoke to him again and he dumped me and told me that if I wanted him, I had to change. I was not doing anything wrong. I was just scared because he was a careless guy.

The first time he wanted to have sex with me he did not carry any protection. I told him that I would not have sex with him without the condom because I was afraid of getting pregnant and also giving me a sexual transmitted disease. He had admitted to me before we became very close that he had unprotected sex with a couple of girls on campus.

After we broke up, he would still call me. Then he told me that he also broke up with the girl who he left me for. I blocked him from calling me because after he broke up with me, there were many days I could not concentrate on my school work. So I wished him good luck.


Dear M.,

Very often students get into the wrong crowd even at university. Many forget their real purpose of attending university. Some, after leaving home, would 'bruk out' so to speak.

I would say bless the young woman or young man who keeps his or her head high and not get involved. This young man with whom you had a relationship did not conduct himself very well and you saw that he was going to get you into trouble.

So whether he knew it or not, he did you a mighty big favour by ending the relationship with you.

You said he dumped you but at least you did not drown yourself. You have bounced back, so to speak, and I hope that the young woman he left you for will not allow him to pull her down the drain.

A certain parent told me that he faithfully sent money to one of his children who was at university and he got involved with a female student. He did all sorts of crazy things at university.

He did not spend enough time on his courses. He was so much taken up with this female student. He caught himself but not before failing some courses.

I want to encourage you to stick to your books. There will be plenty of time for you to seek a man or a husband after you graduate.


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