This woman was giving me ‘bun’!

November 30, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you about a problem. I am a hard-working man and I am living with a woman. We have four children. I have tried my very best to help her and to show her love. I am a farmer. She is not qualified to do any 'big' job, but she used to teach at a basic school. She doesn't do that anymore.

I found out that when I am gone to work, another man comes to my house and sometimes would spend a long time with my woman. I asked her if that was the truth and she said I should not ask her that kind of question. I told her that she must stop it if she knows that she is guilty. She told me there was nothing to stop.

CONFRONTATION

I found out the man's name. One Sunday I was playing dominoes and I saw the man, so I stopped playing. I went to the man and asked him if he knew 'so and so' and he told me yes. I told him that I understand that he goes to my house, but he didn't answer. I told him to stop going there and he did not say a word.

By the time I got home, she knew that I had confronted the man. I admitted that I confronted him and I told him not to come back to my yard. She said that she must have friends. I told her that her friends should only come to the house when I am there. This woman was giving me 'bun'!

I went to the farm on Monday. When I came back in the evening my woman was gone. She left a note for me saying that she has gone by her mother for a few days because she is afraid that I would beat her. But why would I beat a woman because of what I heard? I believe that she is cheating, but I do not have any proof.

I went back for her and took her home. I am giving her another chance. I don't know if I have done the right thing. But when I look at it, she has no need to cheat on me. I give her money every week.

Pastor, do you think I did the right thing by going back for her? The first person who told me that she was giving me 'bun' called me a fool. He said she will never stop, but I am giving her another chance.

T.

Dear T.,

Well, perhaps I need to commend you for giving this woman another chance. She hasn't admitted to anything, but out of the goodness of your heart, you went for her and took her back home. I hope that she will behave herself, and I hope that both of you can have a better life together.

Now that she has returned, set up an appointment for both of you to see a family counsellor and talk over the problems that she is having. If a man is cheating, there must be a reason why he is cheating. If this woman is cheating on you, she has her reasons; and if you get to know why, it is easier to solve the problems.

Pastor

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