Husband spending too much time at church

December 28, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I am 24 years of age and I continue to enjoy your column. Whenever I don't read your column I am annoyed with myself for not buying the paper. You are always on target.

My Husband is the youth pastor at our church. We do not have children but the church takes up so much of his time that he does not have much time to be with me. He is always in demand and because I complained about it, they said I am not godly and that I am worldly, in that I am only thinking about myself.

I told the deacons that I am not only concerned about myself but also about my husband's health, and us spending time together. One woman was so rude to me. Pastor, I wouldn't mention what she said to me. Another one told me that he is being paid for what he is doing and that he is not doing anything in the church for free.

They went and complained to the senior pastor because I said that what he is paid could hardly buy food for the both of us, and that is true. Some of these people don't give much to church but they want a whole lot.

My husband stood up for me but when we were home together, he told me that I should learn to say very little because they would use it against me. Pastor, do you think it is fair for an assistant pastor to be away from home every night and his wife is left alone? We do not have children as I said before. What will happen if I get pregnant? He would have to leave the church work and spend more time with me and then I will hear that he has backslidden. I want to show my husband your comments when you respond.


Dear P.,

Do not let what the people say in the church upset you. The ministry is a very tough work and that is why people have to be specially called to the sacred ministry. Some wives would often say that it is their husbands who are called and they are not. But to me that is a mistake wives make. If your husband is called, you are likely called to the ministry, too, because you would have to make just as much sacrifice as your husband. And sometimes the demands are great and one hardly has time for one's self.


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