Didn’t want to get pregnant so soon

January 13, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 years old and I have been living with my boyfriend for the last three months. I am now pregnant and I do not know what to do. I told him that we should abort the child but he said no. I love this man so much but I feel like running away because I am not ready for a child. My mother had warned me not to get pregnant because my boyfriend might just leave me.

He has three children with two different babymothers and he was married before. He accused the women of cheating but he has never accused me of that; he has only warned me.

When my mother found out that we were friends, I had already started having sex with him. My mother asked me if I was having sex and I told her the truth. I have never wanted to cheat on him because he is everything to me. I only had one other experience with a man but he put his hand on me and I left him. I told him that if he did it again, I would cut his hand off so we broke up. People keep telling my present boyfriend that he is robbing the cradle but he ignored them. It is not that I don't want to have children; it's just that I don't want a child now.

I guess I will have to have my baby because although I feel like running away, where would I go?

My boyfriend respects me and I sleep in his arms every night. Every morning he gets up and makes me a cup of tea before he goes to work. My best friend says that I am 'living life' so I should enjoy it while it lasts. He promised to give me a helper after the child is born and I am going back to school. I am at fault also, I can't blame him alone. I should have protected myself too.


Dear G.L.,

Well, have your baby, and while you are preparing for the birth of the child, make sure you are registered to go back to school. This man was married. But you did not give his age.

I hope that he is not still married. If he is, he should seek a divorce and free up himself and eventually marry you. You love him very much and he is taking care of you. I get the impression that he is much older than you because people tease him about you by saying that he is 'robbing the cradle'. That has not bothered him, neither does your pregnancy. But you are worried because this is an unplanned pregnancy. You have been careless in that you have not protected yourself but don't even think of terminating the pregnancy. But don't let it happen again until you are fully ready for another child.

Not many women could brag about getting a cup of tea early in the morning while they are still in bed. Your friend is right; you are indeed living life. Now you are going to have to learn how to relate to his other children. Make sure that you treat them right and encourage him to support them.


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