My husband threatened to cheat if I withhold sex

January 20, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I somewhat think that I am too hard on my husband. I am 26 and he is 28. We have one child. We agreed that we could have another but my husband is using that to want sex with me every day, and sometimes when I say no, he asks how are we going to have another child if we don't have sex. Both of us are working but our child stays with a nanny who takes good care of him. There are times when I can see the anger in my husband when I say no to his advances. Recently, he called the name of a girl who he said would not say no to him and told me that if I continue, he will go to her. I shivered as I could hear the anger in his voice and I assumed that that girl would not say no because my husband is a well-built man and he is very attractive. After I said no, he went to the bathroom to have another shower and went to bed. I could not sleep. So I woke my husband after a couple of hours and made love to him. I wanted him to discuss why he said that he would go to this woman but he wouldn't.

He went straight back to bed. I want to know why my husband can't take no for an answer. Sometimes I do want to have sex but there are other times I am very tired. My husband is not unreasonable but he seems to want it all the time. I would like to get pregnant in another two years. That's what I told my husband. He said that I should consider another year.

Since he mentioned that young woman's name to me, every time I hear the first name I remember what he said. But I don't know of them having a relationship. The girl I know by that name is very pretty, but so am I. I have a good husband, and a good provider, but he is very greedy when it comes to sex.


Dear O.S.,

Some men believe that their women should be ready to have sex with them at any time. Some men do not consider that at times the women are very tired. You are both working people.

You are fortunate that you have a nanny to take care of your child. Your husband seems to have a greater sex drive than you do. That's not unusual, men do have a greater sex drive and I believe that you are trying to meet your husband's sexual needs. But he seems to want more of you and he had to be very upset to throw this warning on you. The last time I know a man who told his wife that, she told him to go ahead. He went and had sex with a woman and impregnated her and that almost cost a break in their marriage.

You and your husband should have time for each other, and spending time with each other doesn't mean having sex. You should learn how to keep your husband happy in bed. You don't always have to be fussing about sex. A good man should give his wife time to rest and to wake up early in the morning to make love; that is why some couples enjoy sex.

You don't have to question your husband about this particular person, but you should keep your eyes wide open. You should know what you ought to do and if you do not want to get pregnant before a certain time, protect yourself. Make sure, however, you do not fight over sex.


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