My girlfriend wants to live far away from relatives

January 22, 2021

Dear Pastor,

My father cannot read well, but he always gives us good advice and one of the things he told us was to make sure we had a place to put our heads before we seek women.

I am 24 years old and I have a child with a woman who is 22. Her parents have asked her why we have not got married and she told them that we were not yet ready. My father told me that he would allow me to build a house on part of his land, but my babymother said she does not want us to live near to family.

My mother likes her but she declares that she does not like mothers-in-law. Some mothers-in-law give plenty of trouble, but my mother is not like that.

She also said that she would want us to live far away from parents. I told my father what she said, and he said that she is not the right woman for me because she should learn to cooperate. My mother said she is a 'giddy headed' girl. I went back to her and she said we could start building the house but it may take long to finish. All I need is money, but Pastor, I don't like to be under pressure at all, and I don't want my child to grow up in another man's home for him to take advantage of my child.

I am beginning to gather the materials for the house. I am beginning to follow my father's advice. He said I should build two rooms, a bathroom and a kitchen. My other brothers agreed. They have girlfriends but they don't have children. Do you think I am doing the right thing? I will be reading THE STAR for your answer.


Dear S.M.,

Your father has taken the time to counsel his children and you should congratulate him. He knows that family life is important. So he tried to tell you that a man should make provision for his family. Your child's mother indeed has a voice. It is not every mother-in-law who would keep her mouth and try not to rule her son after he is married. Some mothers-in-law are indeed nosy and disgusting. They want to tell their son's wives what to do, what to cook, etc. So, these are reasons why some daughters-in-law don't want to live close to them. But if your mother would keep her distance, your young bride should not have a problem.

So, go ahead and plan to build your house. Let your child's mother have an input, do not ignore her suggestions. In the meantime, you are to be careful what you do with this woman. Just because she has a child for you already does not mean that you should be careless. Don't go ahead and have unprotected sex. Plan your family well. I wish your family well.


Other Tell Me Pastor Stories