Thinking of leaving my womanising babyfather

February 18, 2021

Dear Pastor,

Greetings to you in the Master's name. I am 30 and I like to read your column. I am a mother of three children. My boyfriend wants more children, but I am not interested.

He has three with me and four with other women. He said he wants to be like Solomon. The only time this man and I quarrel is over children. He tries his best to give me money every week. He is a builder, but he has a taxi on the road. Sometimes he does not come home for days. I used to be worried and call him when I didn't see him, but I have stopped because I have come to realise that he is at the home of one of his women.

One night I called his phone and a woman answered. When I asked for him, she said, 'Why don't you stop harassing the man? It is my turn. You may see him tonight.' She hung up the phone. Pastor, when he came home, I didn't even bother to ask him any questions. Early one Saturday morning he took me to Coronation Market, went away, and came back for me.

My problem now is that I have met another man and I have got to love him, but I also found out that this man has a girlfriend, and she is younger than I am. I asked him about it, and he admitted it. He said he is looking for a wife and if I am serious about him, he would drop this girl. I am serious about him, Pastor, but I don't know how to leave this man with whom I have three children. I really want a better life for myself and my children.

G.

Dear G.,

You would have to determine whether you are likely to have a better future if you continue in a relationship with this man. You say he is doing his best to support you and the children.

You did not say whether you are working. If you're not, you should seek a job and stop relying totally on this man. Every woman needs to earn her own money. It is not everything that she needs, she should look to her man for.

Even if one of your children is young and has to be put in a nursery, do so, and go to work. The children's father said he wants to be like Solomon. He might have been joking because Solomon was a very wealthy man, and he is a poor man. Even if he is earning a lot of money, having a lot of women will take away much of what he earns.

You have come to realise that you need a change, but you are not being smart. You have become involved with another man; this man has a girlfriend who is younger than you. So why did you have to start a relationship with a man who has another girl? You should end the relationship right away. I don't expect him to speak the truth about the girl. He told you that he was looking for a wife, but he might be telling her that she would be his wife. Don't go further with this man.

Tell your children's father that you are getting older and as you see it, he is not going to settle down for now, so you believe that the both of you should go your separate ways. Take your time and pull your hand out of the 'lion's mouth'.

Pastor

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