Should I build a room on my mother-in-law’s house?

February 22, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I am 24 and I have a girlfriend who is 19. We started dating one year ago and I am doing my best to help her, but her father does not like me. I went to see her mother.

She wanted me to meet her. She was frying fish and she told me to have a seat, and she offered me fish and bread. I was surprised of the good treatment. She said I was the first man that her daughter had taken home, but she had always told her that any man that liked her, she should bring that man home.

My girlfriend has four subjects, and she wants to become a teacher. She is going back to school to get the required subjects to go to college. She used to be a Christian, but I caused her to backslide because every time we have the opportunity to have sex, we do it.

She shares a bedroom with her mother. They are living on a plot of land that has been leased, and their house is made of board. Her mother told me that if I want to help her daughter, I can build a room on their house for her, and I would not have to pay anybody any big rent. I don't know if that is a good idea, so I am asking you for your advice.


Dear L.,

Firstly, I am glad that this young woman took you home to meet her mother and that you had an opportunity to share a humble meal with them.

Her mother has suggested you build a room on her house so that you and your girlfriend would have your own space. This woman is living on leased land, so I would suggest that you get the information about the lease and go to see a lawyer before you make any arrangement with her.

I do not encourage any man to build on anybody's land, especially if it is for in-law, and please, don't be in a hurry to marry this girl.

You have caused this girl to backslide because she was in the church but now both of you have been having sex very often. Make sure both of you go to church. She is very young and she may have a change of heart in a few years' time and want you out of her life. So be careful of what you do.


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