My parents can be verbally abusive

March 05, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I am 12 years old. My eyes are filled with tears as I am writing to you. I have always wanted to write to you but I was too nervous. I am here to talk about my mother.

She is always saying some harmful things that make me feel like I want to run away, but I do not want to do that. For example she would say, "big mouth gyal yuh neck long like", and stuff like that. I used to have a rotten tooth and she would often say, "stinking mouth gal shut up". She would say that when I was shouting and arguing with my siblings and that made me cry.

My mother takes good care of me but I have never heard her say," I am proud of you and I love you". She always wants the best out of me and so on and I like that, but to hear what she says to me out of her mouth makes me really sad. I would like to help poor people and I would also love to be a therapist or an aviation technician in the future. I don't like to see poor people suffer and I don't like to see people being bullied and abused.

My father is sometimes playful, but he curses me for simple things and he is worse than my mother. He would disgrace and embarrass us. My parents are not together but they communicate. My mother and her siblings argue a lot. I wish I could make things right, but I can't. I am sorry for being negative, so Pastor, please give me your advice. I look forward to your letter.

Initials withheld

Dear writer,

One thing I have learned from your letter is that you are a very intelligent young girl and I do not wish to embarrass you in anyway. Every intelligent man would love you to be his daughter and cherish you and see that you get a good education because you have high goals. You are ambitious and I believe that you would do well wherever you choose to live and in what field or profession you choose. Jamaica needs more young people like you and I want you to know that I love you. And although I have never met you, I want to encourage you to press on. Continue to love your mother despite the fact that sometimes you do not feel her love.

Your mother and father constantly curse you because they do not know better. If you had received the dental care that you needed, your tooth probably would not have decayed, so when your mother calls you unpleasant names, she needs to be blamed for the condition in which you found yourself. Shame on her. There is no question in my mind that you come from a dysfunctional family, but I beg you to focus on your lessons and study hard. After high school, head for university and I will be backing you in prayer all the way. Try to live in peace with your siblings. What a shame your father is not playing a bigger role in your life. But I am glad that you know where he is and although he can be very unpleasant, still love him as a father. Please let me hear from you again.


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