Can’t stop fantasising about my guy

May 19, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I am 16 years old. I had my first sexual experience one year ago, just before my 16th birthday, and since that time I am always fantasising and longing to have sex again.

The guy who had sex with me has gone to America to study. We talk every day and he is always saying that he hopes that I am behaving myself. I told him that I am behaving and I hope that he is behaving too. He said yes and that he does not have any time to think about having girls in his life because he has lots of work to do online. I am trying to do my studies online also, but I fantasise and I am longing to be with him. He has a friend in Jamaica and his friend always wants me to come to his house to visit him but I have refused. I will not go there because I know what he wants. I don't even like him. He also offers me money but I don't need his money. My parents give me my allowance every week so money is not my problem. People tell me I look very sexy and I look older than my age but I am only 16. But I look like someone who is over 18 years old. Even one of the male teachers likes me and I told him that if he touches me I will report him to the principal. So that threat caused him to back off. What I want to ask you is, is it wrong for me to fantasise? When I am fantasising, I only fantasise about my boyfriend and no one else. I am looking forward to your answer in THE STAR. Keep up the good work.

G.T.

Dear G.T.,

If the truth be told, everybody has fantasised, some much more than others. Girls wonder what it would be like the first time they are going to bed with a man, and what would happen on their wedding night, etc. As a counsellor, I cannot say that it is a gross thing to fantasise. You had a sexual experience with your boyfriend before he left Jamaica, and now that he is away he is always on your mind. It would be wrong for you to fantasise about going to bed with other men or with even another man. However, it would be wise for you to put your thoughts into your studies and that would help you to concentrate on your schoolwork rather than on your boyfriend. You talked about this man who is a friend of your boyfriend. He is not a good friend. He should not encourage you to have a sexual relationship with him. He is no good. Keep away from him. Don't accept anything form him at all. Again, I say concentrate on your schoolwork. Read your Bible and pray. I wish you well.

Pastor

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