I can’t stand my in-laws

July 09, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I am 24 years old and I have a six-month-old baby. I lost my job and my babyfather encouraged me to come and live with him.

He is living in the same yard with his parents, but he got permission from his father to build a small house on the property, and that is what he did. It is one-bedroom structure, with a kitchen and bathroom.

Two of his siblings are very jealous of him and they said that his father should not have given him permission to build on the land. They don't like me. I had an argument with one of them, and she said they will soon run me out of their place. I don't trouble them, but they are always finding ways to argue with me.

Although we are living by ourselves, I don't have privacy because sometimes his mother just comes and sits down and engages me in arguments that I don't care to have with her. She is always begging. My boyfriend works very hard and if I have to go somewhere and I ask her to watch over the baby for me, I have to pay her, which I don't mind doing.

The sister who doesn't like me told her mother that she shouldn't keep the baby because I am going out to look man. At least, that is what his mother told me that she said. I told my babyfather what she said and he asked her about it, and she told him that he was behaving as if I tied him to myself.

I love my boyfriend. I have never been unfaithful to him and when he got me pregnant, I could have got rid of the foetus, but both of us wanted the child. After cooking, I just close my door and stay inside. My mother lives in the country and whenever she comes to see me, she can't even stay because I don't have the convenience for her. My boyfriend's father told him that he can add another room to the house, but I am not sure that he should do so because I am already uncomfortable here. I love my boyfriend, but I don't like one of his sisters and his mother doesn't always show me a good face. I feel very miserable and I am trying to get another job. My boyfriend does everything to make me feel comfortable, but I can't stand his people.

K.

Dear K.,

I believe that your boyfriend's father loves his son, and it is because of his love for him why he agreed for him to build a little house on his property. It is evident that his siblings are jealous over your boyfriend.

They don't like you and you need to learn that if people don't like you, it is not necessarily your fault. This man's mother perhaps sees you as an independent person, and at the same time, she might believe that you are getting what she should be getting. She should be glad to babysit her grandchild whenever you wish to go out.

On the other hand, you should not object to paying her for babysitting. Living with your boyfriend in your own home on his father's land costs less than to rent a house somewhere else. I think you should encourage your boyfriend to build another room to make it more convenient. It will allow your mother to stay with you sometimes, and your child will have his own room. So, although you know they do not show you much love, your child's father can protect you and you are quite able to learn how to tolerate those who do not show you much love.

I want to warn you to never say anything negative about your child's father, his mother or siblings. Take care of your child and take care of your boyfriend. I wish both of you well.

Pastor

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